Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many countries are experiencing a fragmentation in their sense of community, as interactions move online. What are the problems this causes, and are there any benefits? What is your view of the situation in Thailand?

Many countries are experiencing a fragmentation in their sense of community, as interactions move online. What are the problems this causes, and are there any benefits? What is your view of the situation in Thailand? 0Erbq
A wide range of people are from a variety of background. Commenting always has a diversity. It is not occurring only in Thailand, but also happen among humans around the world. For example, by the year 2010, Thai citizens had been distinguishing into the side of loving King and Prime Minister who was “Mr. Abhisit Vejjajiva” or in Thai word called “Suea Lueang”, refers to Yellow shirts, and the side of calling for Prime Minister to dissolve parliament and holding elections earlier than the end of term elections scheduled in 2012 or in Thai word called “Suea Daeng”, refers to Red shirts. Currently, most of Thais are protesting, although protestors realise that it is dangerous, owing to Coronavirus or COVID-19 pandemic. The intention of this protest is to pressure “Gen. Prayut Chan-o-cha”, who is the twenty-ninth Prime Minister of Thailand, for resigning because of his country management flaws. Owing to his flaws, this is the main cause that engender this current protest. Inevitably, Thai people were separated into the side of loving Prime Minister or in Thai word called “Sa Lim”, in the past, it refers to the name of Thai dessert, and the side of unsatisfying Gen. Prayut. From my perspective, I take an issue with the Sa Lim side because I am able to visualise his arrangement flaws such as letting citizens pay an extravagant tax for his own finance, purchasing submarines without any necessity and importing the Coronavirus vaccine called “Sinovac”, which lack potential to prevent from being infected for his own benefit. Furthermore, he becomes Thai Prime Minister without pellucid election because of bribery. I reckon the distinguishing into each side is one of fragmentation among Thais. In order to bring back democracy and welfare to Thailand, I concur with going for calling out about a stolen democracy, which is stolen by governmental corruption, at the assembly point because if there are many gathering of people, it might be able to force Gen. Prayut for resigning from current position. Nevertheless, I am the one who parents do not allowed to go for calling out at the assembly point. And there is another way to preconize such as sharing about shortcoming of government, posting a current situation during protest via Instagram and retweeting the posts associate with senseless government. Surprisingly, the countermeasure of government has been announced as a law enforcement, which is fake news or posting any news that is able to be dreaded is forbidden. As far as I am concerned, it is a conceptualisation against human rights evidently because it is my Social Media. I am allowed to post anything, according to my scrutiny. This is a makeshift enforcement and easy to seizure. To my consideration, protest is an implication that Gen. Prayut lacks the ability for being Thai Prime Minister. Protestors and citizens in the side of driving him out would like Gen. Prayut to ponder himself again, not only rationalise because his action is not gratifying to us all. Lastly, I wish Thais are going to receive democracy urgently.
A wide range of
people
are from a variety of background. Commenting always has a diversity. It is not occurring
only
in Thailand,
but
also
happen among humans around the world.
For example
, by the year 2010, Thai citizens had been distinguishing into the side of loving King and
Prime
Minister
who was “Mr.
Abhisit
Vejjajiva
” or in Thai word called “
Suea
Lueang
”, refers to Yellow shirts, and the side of calling for
Prime
Minister
to dissolve parliament and holding elections earlier than the
end
of term elections scheduled in 2012 or in Thai word called “
Suea
Daeng
”, refers to Red shirts.

Currently
, most of Thais are protesting, although protestors
realise
that it is
dangerous
, owing to Coronavirus or COVID-19 pandemic. The intention of this
protest
is to pressure “Gen.
Prayut
Chan-o-cha
”, who is the twenty-ninth
Prime
Minister
of Thailand, for resigning
because
of his country management flaws. Owing to his flaws, this is the main cause that engender this
current
protest
.
Inevitably
, Thai
people
were separated
into the side of loving
Prime
Minister
or in Thai word called “
Sa
Lim
”, in the past, it refers to the name of Thai dessert, and the side of unsatisfying Gen.
Prayut
. From my perspective, I take an issue with the
Sa
Lim
side
because
I am able to
visualise
his arrangement flaws such as letting citizens pay an extravagant tax for his
own
finance, purchasing submarines without any necessity and importing the Coronavirus vaccine called “
Sinovac
”, which lack potential to
prevent
from
being infected
for his
own
benefit.
Furthermore
, he becomes Thai
Prime
Minister
without pellucid election
because
of bribery. I reckon the distinguishing into each side is one of fragmentation among Thais.

In order to bring back democracy and welfare to Thailand, I concur with going for calling out about a stolen democracy, which
is stolen
by governmental corruption, at the assembly point
because
if there are
many
gathering of
people
, it might be able to force Gen.
Prayut
for resigning from
current
position.
Nevertheless
, I am the one who parents do not
allowed
to go for calling out at the assembly point. And there is another way to preconize such as sharing about shortcoming of
government
, posting a
current
situation during
protest
via Instagram and retweeting the posts associate with senseless
government
.
Surprisingly
, the countermeasure of
government
has
been announced
as a law enforcement, which is fake news or posting any news
that is
able to
be dreaded
is forbidden
. As far as I
am concerned
, it is a
conceptualisation
against human rights
evidently
because
it is my Social Media. I am
allowed
to post anything, according to my scrutiny. This is a makeshift enforcement and easy to seizure.

To my consideration,
protest
is an implication that Gen.
Prayut
lacks the ability for being Thai
Prime
Minister
. Protestors and citizens in the side of driving him out would like Gen.
Prayut
to ponder himself again, not
only
rationalise
because
his action is not gratifying to us all.
Lastly
, I wish Thais are going to receive democracy
urgently
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Many countries are experiencing a fragmentation in their sense of community, as interactions move online. What are the problems this causes, and are there any benefits? What is your view of the situation in Thailand?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
507 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts