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Living in 3 or 4 generation is a good idea

Living in 3 or 4 generation is a good idea 5a1Jm
I agree that living in a family of three or four generations is a good idea. I believe living in an extended family has three main benefits. First, family members can provide and receive support from each other. For example, grandparents can take care of the children while their parents are busy. Second, the relationship between each member of the extended family is closer and more loving. Moreover, the children in that family have a great opportunity to develop social skills and learn to solve problems effectively because they get along well with other children in the family. But with the good side, there is also the bad side.
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that living in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
of three or four generations is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. I believe living in an extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
has three main benefits.

First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members can provide and receive support from each other.
For example
, grandparents can take care of the children while their parents are busy. Second, the relationship between each member of the extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is closer and more loving.
Moreover
, the children in that family

have a great opportunity to develop social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and learn to solve problems
effectively
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
along well with other children in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
side, there is
also
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
side.
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IELTS essay Living in 3 or 4 generation is a good idea

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
109 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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