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Many countries aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

Many countries aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages? pR6Pd
Most countries, around the globe; deem economic development as the best tool for improving their living standards; however, there are people who believe that economic growth leads to the loss of social values. In this essay, I am going to shed some light on the advantages and disadvantages of economic development. It is certainly true that developed countries have improved people’s way of living by providing enhanced standard of public services: health and education. Improved health care helps in increasing people’s life expectancy by treating dangerous diseases. For instance, Obama Care, in America, provides better medical facilities to its citizens and also does research and development for discovering better and cheap medicines. Furthermore, improved educational standards can give the people a greater diversity of skills and a broader mindset. To exemplify, in my knowledge, I have learned that education is accounted an important medium for prosperity and happiness of a nation. However, every coin has two sides and despite all the advantages of developed economies, there are some disadvantages too. People argue that this could lead to the loss of social values because higher economic growth is directly proportional to long hours of hard work. Its first negative impact will be that the hard working parents will not be able to spare precious time for their children; hence, children will eventually get involved in anti social activities. For instance, the children of African-Americans in New York city are under the influence of criminal activities since their parents are too much occupied in their work. In conclusion, I believe that focussing on economic development has a little negative impact on families as compared to many benefits it can give to its societies in terms of quality health and education.
Most countries, around the globe; deem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
development as the best tool for improving their living standards;
however
, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth leads to the loss of social values. In this essay, I am going to shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on the advantages and disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
development.

It is
certainly
true that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
way of living by providing enhanced standard of public services: health and education.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Improved
health care
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life expectancy by treating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
diseases.
For instance
, Obama Care, in America, provides better medical facilities to its citizens and
also
does research and development for discovering better and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
medicines.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
educational standards can give the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a greater diversity of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and a broader mindset. To exemplify, in my knowledge, I have learned that education
is accounted
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
medium for prosperity and happiness of a nation.

However
, every coin has two sides and despite all the advantages of developed economies, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages too.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
argue that this could lead to the loss of social values
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth is
directly
proportional to long hours of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work. Its
first
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact will be that the
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
hard working
parents will not be able to spare precious time for their children;
hence
, children will
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
anti social
activities.
For instance
, the children of African-Americans in
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
New York city
are under the influence of criminal activities since their parents are too much occupied in their work.

In conclusion
, I believe that focussing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
development has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on families as compared to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits it can give to its societies in terms of quality health and education.
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IELTS essay Many countries aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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