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Many countries aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

Many countries aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages? 5EGn
Many governments are making every effort to enhance their economy to strengthen each country's quality of living. On the contrary, Some alert that other cultural values are deteriorating due to the development. Although I agree with their view to some extent, I believe that the benefits brought by a good economy far outweigh its drawbacks. In terms of adverse effects, globalization is one of the controversial topics to affect traditional culture. For most small countries, like Japan, globalizing is an essential way to develop their economy since their domestic market is far limited compared to the world. However, in the process of modernization, developing countries often lose their uniqueness. For example, tourism is predominated in the European style for international travellers and business person. Therefore, in order to maximize tourism profit, some local regions have abandoned their traditional accommodation styles, languages, and food cultures. Striving for financial gain can cause citizens to become money-oriented and more materialistic, and it is understandable that some people strongly doubt the benefits of economic growth. Nevertheless, it cannot deny that a financially stable nation has many advantages over a developing nation. An economically strong government can invest in the country's infrastructures such as schools, hospitals and transport networks. It brings citizen high employment rates, sophisticated education and state-of-the-art medication with helpful insurance. Furthermore, it also positively affects domestic values. The more ordinary citizens are educated, the more population understand the importance of maintaining their precious culture, and the public more likely tries to protect their traditions. In conclusion, even though I strongly agree that we ought to protect social value, every leader needs to work towards financial development to improve average lives' quality. Without wealth and the guarantee of steady lives, it is challenging to protect social value. Based on the knowledge of the drawbacks, individuals ought to work together to preserve the important social values.
Many
governments
are making every effort to enhance their economy to strengthen each country's quality of living.
On the contrary
,
Some
alert that other cultural values are deteriorating due to the development. Although I
agree
with their view to
some
extent, I believe that the benefits brought by a
good
economy far outweigh its drawbacks.

In terms of adverse effects, globalization is one of the controversial topics to affect traditional culture. For most
small
countries, like Japan, globalizing is an essential way to develop their economy since their domestic market is far limited compared to the world.
However
, in the process of modernization,
developing countries
often
lose their uniqueness.
For example
, tourism
is predominated
in the European style for international
travellers
and business person.
Therefore
, in order to maximize tourism profit,
some
local regions have abandoned their traditional accommodation styles, languages, and food cultures. Striving for financial gain can cause citizens to become money-oriented and more materialistic, and it is understandable that
some
people
strongly
doubt the benefits of economic growth.

Nevertheless
, it cannot deny that a
financially
stable nation has
many
advantages over a developing nation. An
economically
strong
government
can invest in the country's infrastructures such as schools, hospitals and transport networks. It brings citizen high employment rates, sophisticated education and state-of-the-art medication with helpful insurance.
Furthermore
, it
also
positively
affects domestic values. The more ordinary citizens
are educated
, the more population understand the importance of maintaining their precious culture, and the public more likely tries to protect their traditions.

In conclusion
,
even though
I
strongly
agree
that we ought to protect social
value
, every leader needs to work towards financial development to
improve
average
lives
' quality. Without wealth and the guarantee of steady
lives
, it is challenging
to protect
social
value
. Based on the knowledge of the drawbacks, individuals ought to work together to preserve the
important
social values.
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IELTS essay Many countries aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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