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Many contend that dearth of accommodation spaces in developed cities have various consequences in the society and law enforcers can help to combat this impediment

Many contend that dearth of accommodation spaces in developed cities have various consequences in the society and law enforcers can help to combat this impediment JYjoa
This given topic is a legitimate debate. Many contend that dearth of accommodation spaces in developed cities have various consequences in the society and law enforcers can help to combat this impediment whereas others disagree. With the advent if technology, people are trying to promote industrialisation. I completely agree with the given statement. In the following paragraphs, I would like to put forth my arguments in support of my views. To begin with, industrialists are destroying houses at the main road in order to build metro and railway stations, business centres and malls of development of the country. As a result, the space for residential housing have plummeted significantly. People are forced to live on streets and beg in order to provide shelter to their families. Moreover, there will be other social impact as well. For instance, more and more people residing on streets would cause surge in the road accidents rates and road traffic as children would often play on streets, which will provide less space to travel through cars. In addition to this, I believe that it is the duty of Government to pass certain laws in order to maintain the balance between spaces provided for urbanisation and residential housing. Besides this, public agencies should ensure that people who were forced to leave their home for benefit of nation should be provided home at a different location at the same time. Moreover, law makers should advice architects to build tall and compact buildings, which could be home for 50-60 people in less amount of space. In the end I would like to emphasize that government should take steps to combat the issue as it is the sole authority responsible for providing safety and comfort to people.
This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
topic is a legitimate debate.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
contend that dearth of accommodation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
in developed cities have various consequences in the society and law enforcers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to combat this impediment whereas others disagree. With the advent if technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are trying to promote
Possible spelling mistake. 'industrialisation' is British English.
industrialisation
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement. In the following paragraphs, I would like to put forth my arguments in support of my views.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, industrialists are destroying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
at the main road in order to build metro and railway stations, business
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
and malls of development of the country.
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
for residential housing have plummeted
significantly
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are forced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on streets and beg in order to provide shelter to their families.
Moreover
, there will be other social impact
as well
.
For instance
, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
residing on streets would cause surge in the road accidents rates and road traffic as children would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
play on streets, which will provide less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
to travel through cars.

In addition
to this, I believe that it is the duty of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
to pass certain laws in order to maintain the balance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
provided for
Possible spelling mistake. 'urbanisation' is British English.
urbanisation
and residential housing.
Besides
this, public agencies should ensure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
were forced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their home for benefit of nation should
be provided
home at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
location at the same time.
Moreover
, law makers should
The word 'advise' is a noun. Did you mean "advise" (verb)?
advice
architects to build tall and compact buildings, which could be home for 50-60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in less amount of space.

In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
I would like to emphasize that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take steps to combat the issue as it is the sole authority responsible for providing safety and comfort to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay Many contend that dearth of accommodation spaces in developed cities have various consequences in the society and law enforcers can help to combat this impediment

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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