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Many companies sponsor sports as a way to advertising themselves. Some people think that it is a good thing, while others think that it has disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Many companies sponsor sports as a way to advertising themselves. Some people think that it is a good thing, while others think that it has disadvantages. v. 1
Nowadays, firms have been allotted a generous budget to various sports so as to channel their products or services to customers’ needs. Research findings confirm that this marketing method is significantly more practical in prospering businesses compared with other methods, including celebrity endorsements, pop-ups, jingles and so forth. Being sponsorship of sports has been the subject of debate in recent years and people’s opinions run the gamut from being proponents of being opponents. I am of the opinion that companies should play a part as a patron in sports. On the one hand, some people justifiably argue that there are advantages to sponsoring sports. From their point of view, allocating the budget to sports can act as a catalyst for promoting sports. It helps sports play a role as a sponge and, in turn, absorbs athletically gifted people from all walks of life; therefore, people having a knock for doing a particular sport can find a background to strut their stuff. For instance, once a private bank appropriated a considerable amount of money for the Iran national volleyball team, their performance has become excellent. Now, they are the front-runner in Asia and place among the best national teams in the world. It is also maintained that sports have their own avid followers. Every sport event has an array of spectators. Indeed, they are broadcast by millions of TV channels, so companies are in the public eye. This opens a window of opportunity for companies to sell their products. For example, in 2010 world cup in South Africa, owing to supporting football teams, international companies witnessed a considerable increase in selling their goods in the continent of Africa. On the other hand, there are those who subscribe to the view that sponsoring sports has some disadvantages. They argue that companies merely support sports having devoted fans, for instance football, and therefore other sports are completely ignored. In their vantage, supporting football clubs overrides the importance of sponsoring other sports such as judo. However, companies can be compelled to support other sports by the success of athletes of them in worldwide competitions. In my personal opinion, albeit sponsoring sports might have some disadvantages, the merits are far more prominent. Promoting sports and prospering their own businesses are the main merits that subscribe my viewpoint.
Nowadays, firms have
been allotted
a generous budget to various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
channel their products or services to customers’ needs. Research findings confirm that this marketing method is
significantly
more practical in prospering businesses compared with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
methods, including celebrity endorsements, pop-ups, jingles and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth. Being sponsorship of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
has been the subject of debate in recent years and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
opinions run the gamut from being proponents of being opponents. I am of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should play a part as a patron in sports.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
justifiably
argue that there are advantages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sponsoring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. From their point of view, allocating the budget to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
can act as a catalyst for promoting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
play a role as a sponge and, in turn, absorbs
athletically
gifted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from all walks of life;
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
having a knock for doing a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
can find a background to strut their stuff.
For instance
, once a private bank appropriated a considerable amount of money for the Iran national volleyball team, their performance has become excellent.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, they are the front-runner in Asia and place among the best national teams in the world. It is
also
maintained that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
avid followers. Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
has an array of spectators.
Indeed
, they are broadcast by millions of TV channels,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are in the public eye. This opens a window of opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to sell their products.
For example
, in 2010 world cup in South Africa, owing to supporting football teams, international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
witnessed a considerable increase in selling their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
in the continent of Africa.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are those who subscribe to the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sponsoring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages. They argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
merely
support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
having devoted fans,
for instance
football, and
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
. In their vantage, supporting football clubs overrides the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sponsoring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
such as judo.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can
be compelled
to support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
by the success of athletes of them in worldwide competitions.

In my personal opinion, albeit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sponsoring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
might have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages, the merits are far more prominent. Promoting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and prospering their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
businesses are the main merits that subscribe my viewpoint.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
You live a new life for every new language you speak. If you know only one language, you live only once.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay Many companies sponsor sports as a way to advertising themselves. Some people think that it is a good thing, while others think that it has disadvantages. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
382 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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