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People doing dangerous sport activities like scuba diving and bungi jumbing, they should be responsible for their own life and rescue workers not risk their lives to save people. Do you agree or disagree. v.2

People doing dangerous sport activities like scuba diving and bungi jumbing, they should be responsible for their own life and rescue workers not risk their lives to save people. v. 2
It is thought by some that people who enrolled in extreme sport activities like scuba diving and bungi jumping should be responsible for their life and rescue workers ought to minimize the risk in order to save their live. In my opinion, while only rescue workers can save people’s life in dangerous situations I believe that individuals should take care about their life and do sport activities only in checked places. Firstly, it must be admitted that only people from rescue teams are able to save people from the most dangerous situations. All countries around the world have rescuers who are always ready to save people and these people are usually know the places where people usually have alarm situations. As a result, rescue workers should ban any extreme sport activities in the places where other people faced danger situations. In addition, rescuers should check equipment that are responsible for safety in the places where people do extreme sports. The reason to this is that to prevent any accident is easier than to save people from danger situations. On the other hand, some people like to do extreme sports and they like to find the new places for doing there extreme sports. This is because extreme people think that the more danger place they choose the more adrenalin rush they will get. As a result people try to find new places for scuba diving and bungi jumping in order to be the first person who tried this place. When people use unknown places for such extreme sports they should be careful, they should check their equipment and avoid any danger situations. Moreover, they should inform their families and friends that they are going to do extreme sports in new places and left them location of this place. In conclusion, although rescue workers are ready to help to people who are in danger situation, people should be careful and avoid doing sport in unknown places.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
enrolled in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
activities like scuba diving and
Possible spelling mistake found.
bungi
jumping should be responsible for their life and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rescue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
ought to minimize the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. In my opinion, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rescue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
I believe that individuals should take care about their life and do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
places.

Firstly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be admitted
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rescue
teams are able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
. All countries around the world have rescuers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are always ready to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
usually
Consider using a past participle here: "known".
know
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
have alarm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rescue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
should ban any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
activities in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
where other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
faced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
danger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
.
In addition
, rescuers should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
equipment that are responsible for safety in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. The reason to this is that to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
any accident is easier than to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
danger
situations.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
sports and
they like to find the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
for doing there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
danger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
they choose the more adrenalin rush they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
.
As a result
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to find new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
for scuba diving and
Possible spelling mistake found.
bungi
jumping in order to be the
first
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
tried this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
unknown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
for such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
they should be careful, they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
their equipment and avoid any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
danger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
.
Moreover
, they should inform their families and friends that they are going to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
them location of this place.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rescue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
are ready to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
danger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be careful and avoid doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
in unknown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
72Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay People doing dangerous sport activities like scuba diving and bungi jumbing, they should be responsible for their own life and rescue workers not risk their lives to save people. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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