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Many children lack access to education. What causes this problem? What solutions do you suggest? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Many children lack access to education. What causes this problem? What solutions do you suggest? 6NPoj
The primary reason why children are unable to gain access to education is the lack of funding of the running government in transportation and schooling. First of all, a wide range of minor ethnic groups in which children are uneducated usually settle in such areas like highlands or mountains. These are often far away from the city center, which makes it more difficult when it comes to providing services to those areas, including schools. Moreover, roads and pathways may not be sustainable in harsh conditions as landslides and floods could happen anytime. Secondly, their parents could not fully understand the essence of going to school due to certain customs that their cultures might follow. It is also notable that some parents may not let them go to school as they can have financial problems. This can prevent them from going to school even though schools might be reachable for them if they were near them. To solve the riddle, investing on a project that supports building a school should be working. This can be effective if the invested area has a majority of services except for schools as it is rather specialized and focused in just providing an educational center. One another solution is to propagate the parents to further enhance their knowledge about schooling, and even have them build a road or a sustainable pathway for themselves. If the area has many poor families or it is considered to be remote, this solution will do well as it utilizes the manpower available. Ultimately, lending money for the parents is also possible; therefore, it can minimize the financial problem and let the families be active and independent in money management. To sum up, the government should consider increasing the funding in schools and try to use numerous solutions to apply in a way that is the most suitable in each situation. In that way, illiteracy can cease in the foreseeable future.
The primary reason why children are unable to gain access to education is the lack of funding of the running
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in transportation and schooling.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, a wide range of minor ethnic groups in which children
are uneducated
usually
settle in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
like highlands or mountains. These are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
far away from the city center, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it more difficult when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to providing services to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
Moreover
, roads and pathways may not be sustainable in harsh conditions as landslides and floods could happen anytime.
Secondly
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
could not
fully
understand the essence of going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
due to certain customs that their cultures might follow. It is
also
notable that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
as they can have financial problems. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
might be reachable for them if they were near them.

To solve the riddle, investing on a project that supports building a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should be working. This can be effective if the invested
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
has a majority of services
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
as it is
rather
specialized and focused in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
providing an educational center. One another solution is to propagate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
further
enhance their knowledge about schooling, and even have them build a road or a sustainable pathway for themselves. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
poor families or it
is considered
to be remote, this solution will do well as it utilizes the manpower available.
Ultimately
, lending money for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is
also
possible;
therefore
, it can minimize the financial problem and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
the families be active and independent in money management.

To sum up, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should consider increasing the funding in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
numerous solutions to apply in a way
that is
the most suitable in each situation. In that way, illiteracy can cease in the foreseeable future.
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IELTS essay Many children lack access to education. What causes this problem? What solutions do you suggest?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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