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Many childhood disease can now be prevented through through the use of vaccines Shilpi alliance be made by law to immunise the children against common disease or shall individuals have the right to choose not to immunise the children

Many childhood disease can now be prevented through through the use of vaccines Shilpi alliance be made by law to immunise the children against common disease or shall individuals have the right to choose not to immunise the children kdVM
It becomes essential to address that nowadays because of the advancement in medication scientist are able to make useful vaccines for the various disease also there are lots of vaccines to prevent disease regarding to children there are some people who tend to believe that parents should encourage the children to compulsory take such vaccines where is the rest of others are you this view while setting that its parents choice whether the ready for vaccines or not my auntie phone to the stars will be a true attempt to investigate both respective views in the light of positive and negative points associated with them. To induce the discussion with mentality of people who support first view it is needs to be mentioned that government shall make compulsory rules on such vaccines. Moreover parents should also take part in need to make it better and useful to prevent some disease of childhood. To exemplify this in India government made vaccine for toddler kids call as polio vaccine. Interesting fact is that every parents allowed to this and encourage the child to take this vaccines to prevent disease. While considering probable consequences of people would like to favour second view it is fair to say that some vaccines are very dangerous for children. As a result child can also died on we all become a witness of such a bad disease. For instance a few years ago in China they made a vaccine to cure disease in children but because of researchers mistakes more than thousands of children were died. Because of this not most of the parents are worried about vaccines and not allowing the kids to take it. As far as I am concerned I would like to go with both of both use because of excellence almost for children and to prevent disease but with complete research and accurate out food it is what most needed to be prevent any disease
It becomes essential to address that nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the advancement in medication scientist are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccines
for the various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
also
there are lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccines
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
The phrase 'regarding to' is not correct. Use "regarding" or "regard to".
regarding to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who tend to believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should encourage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to compulsory take such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccines
where is the rest of others are you this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
while setting that its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
choice whether the ready for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccines
or not my auntie phone to the stars will be a true attempt to investigate both respective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
views
in the light of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
points associated with them.

To induce the discussion with mentality of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who support
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
it is needs to
be mentioned
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
shall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
compulsory
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
on such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccines
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it better and useful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
of childhood. To exemplify this in India
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
for toddler kids call as polio
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
. Interesting fact is that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to this and encourage the child to take
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccines
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
disease.

While considering probable consequences of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would like to
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
to say that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccines
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a result child can
also
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "die"
died
on we all become a witness of such a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
.
For instance
a few years ago in China they made a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccine
to cure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of researchers mistakes more than thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
.
Because of this
not most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are worried
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vaccines
and not allowing the kids to take it.

As far as I
am concerned
I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
both of both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of excellence almost for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with complete research and accurate out food it is what most needed to be
Consider using a past participle here: "prevented".
prevent
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
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IELTS essay Many childhood disease can now be prevented through through the use of vaccines Shilpi alliance be made by law to immunise the children against common disease or shall individuals have the right to choose not to immunise the children

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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