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Many business centers consider advertisements as a good way to develop

Many business centers consider advertisements as a good way to develop 2xO8b
Nowadays, the business community often underlines in their advertising leaflets that their goods are the newest items in some ways. There are some causes why this phenomenon occurs. Despite this, I believe that it is an adverse development because it has the potential to confuse clients and cause them to lose trust in advertisements. There are a variety of different factors that may have led businesses to point out that the products they manufacture are new to some extent. One of the major causes can be that by this, many businessmen want to attract customers' attention in order to raise their sales’ shares. It is an undeniable fact that people usually tend to pay attention to advertisements that say they have some brand new products, which just bring benefits to entrepreneurs because it helps them to make more money. Furthermore, ever-increasing competition rates in the business field can cause businesses to stand out among dozens of other traders. In other words, to compete with others, businessmen need something unique such as advertisements emphasising that their products are new to make their content more attractive. Hence, competition and businesses’ willingness to make a great profit cause this phenomenon to appear. In my opinion, however, this trend cannot be considered as a positive development. Firstly, by drawing attention to possessing fresh products, businesses are unfair towards their clients. This is because such behavior of business owners can mislead those who follow advertisements’ context and buy products, believing that it is new. Moreover, the rate of disappointed customers may significantly increase since they may feel cheated if businesses ‘ products are not new as it is said in advertising materials, which consequently decreases people’ credibility to business community advertisements. To sum up, business people commonly highlight in their commercial ads that their products are new. Although there are some obvious reasons, I would have to support the idea that this phenomenon is a negative development because it can mislead customers and they will no longer trust such advertisements.
Nowadays, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
community
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
underlines in their advertising leaflets that their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
are the newest items in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
why this phenomenon occurs. Despite this, I believe that it is an adverse development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has the potential to confuse clients and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
them to lose trust in advertisements.

There are a variety of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
factors that may have led
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
to point out that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
they manufacture are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent. One of the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
can be that by this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
businessmen want to attract customers' attention in order to raise their sales’ shares. It is an undeniable fact that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
usually
tend to pay attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
that say they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
brand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
bring benefits to entrepreneurs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more money.
Furthermore
, ever-increasing competition rates in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
field can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
to stand out among dozens of other traders.
In other words
, to compete with others, businessmen need something unique such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
Possible spelling mistake. 'emphasising' is British English.
emphasising
that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their content more attractive.
Hence
, competition and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses’
willingness to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a great profit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
this phenomenon to appear.

In my opinion,
however
, this trend cannot
be considered
as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development.
Firstly
, by drawing attention to possessing fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
are unfair towards their clients. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
such behavior of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
owners can mislead those who follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements’
context and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, believing that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
.
Moreover
, the rate of disappointed customers may
significantly
increase since they may feel cheated if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
‘
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
as it
is said
in advertising materials, which
consequently
decreases
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’ credibility to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
community advertisements.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
commonly
highlight in their commercial ads that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
. Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
obvious reasons, I would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that this phenomenon is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can mislead
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
customers and
they will no longer trust such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
.
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IELTS essay Many business centers consider advertisements as a good way to develop

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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