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In the past becoming a celebrity meant you had real talent- you could dance, act, tell jokes, play a professional sport, had achieved something incredible in science or technology nowadays, there are many TV shows that allow ordinary people to go television and become celebrities, even though really they have no talent. People should not be allowed to go on TV shows unless they can demonstrate some skill or talent that is entertaining. To what extent do you agree with statement?

In the past becoming a celebrity meant you had real talent- you could dance, act, tell jokes, play a professional sport, had achieved something incredible in science or technology nowadays, there are many TV shows that allow ordinary people to go television and become celebrities, even though really they have no talent. People should not be allowed to go on TV shows unless they can demonstrate some skill or talent that is entertaining. rb9ep
Nowadays, becoming a celebrity is quite easier than before, especially with this widespread of TV talent programs and social platforms such as Facebook, Tiktok, and many more. However, I agree that TV shows should prevent ordinary individuals to be on television without any talent for a number of reasons. First and foremost, most people have a desire to be famous and known among communities because they love the lifestyle of celebrities and how they are surrounded by fans and media all the time in addition to the wealth they have. To illustrate this point, most celebrities all over the world share with their fans the pattern of life they live, and how much money they earn while these make impacts on the public especially on teenagers; therefore, the majority of them dream to be public figures either by TV programs or by using social media platforms. Secondly, there are a lot of talent shows on television where all individuals can join and share their talents with almost the whole world and if they have a real talent that deserves to be watched, they will get sufficient support and fame. For example, tens of participants in talent shows became celebrities not only on the local level but also internationally such as Calum Scott, and others. Last but not least, this issue is not limited to TV these days, unfortunately, since the widespread of applications and social platforms that allow the public to use and post whatever they want, we are seeing thousands of youngsters using them and posting inappropriate content just for fame purposes and to be in the public eyes without any monitoring and awareness of being seen by children. To sum up, although the governments, and media are trying to curb this issue, they should introduce new policies to give permits for ordinary people to be on TV programs. Furthermore, we must raise our awareness of which auditions are suitable for us and which are not.
Nowadays, becoming a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
is quite easier than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
,
especially
with this widespread of TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
programs and social platforms such as Facebook,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tiktok
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
ordinary individuals to be on television without any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
for a number of reasons.

First
and foremost, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have a desire to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
and known among communities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
the lifestyle of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
and how they
are surrounded
by fans and media all the time
in addition
to the wealth they have. To illustrate this point, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
all over the world share with their fans the pattern of life they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, and how much money they earn while these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
impacts on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
especially
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
;
therefore
, the majority of them dream to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
figures either by TV programs or by using social media platforms.

Secondly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
on television where all individuals can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
and share their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
with almost the whole world and if they have a real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
that deserves to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sufficient support and fame.
For example
, tens of participants in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
became
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on the local level
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
internationally
such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Calum
Scott,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, this issue is not limited to TV these days, unfortunately, since
The phrase 'the widespread of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the widespread of
applications and social platforms that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and post whatever they want, we are seeing thousands of youngsters using them and posting inappropriate content
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for fame purposes and to be in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
eyes without any monitoring and awareness of being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
by children.

To sum up, although the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
, and media are trying to curb this issue, they should introduce new policies to give permits for ordinary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to be on TV programs.
Furthermore
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
raise our awareness of which auditions are suitable for us and which are not.
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IELTS essay In the past becoming a celebrity meant you had real talent- you could dance, act, tell jokes, play a professional sport, had achieved something incredible in science or technology nowadays, there are many TV shows that allow ordinary people to go television and become celebrities, even though really they have no talent. People should not be allowed to go on TV shows unless they can demonstrate some skill or talent that is entertaining.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
327 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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