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Internet has become major source of information for students. Do you think in the near future intenet will replace the need of books? Discuss your opinion giving reasons and examples. v.1

Internet has become major source of information for students. Do you think in the near future intenet will replace the need of books? Discuss your opinion giving reasons and examples. v. 1
Although a gap year between high school and college is thought to be useful by some, other people consider it to be detrimental. The high school graduate would be able to understand the importance of education and explore one's passion in life by taking a year off, but there are also some drawbacks which should be to be taken into account. On the one hand, there are a number of advantages of taking a year of break between school and higher education. Firstly, one benefit of a gap year is that the young adult would appreciate the importance of education and perform better in college when they attend it. This is because one would have seen how the world operates first-hand, thus, realised the value of education that is placed upon individuals by society. Secondly, it gives time to explore and discover one's passion in life. Many young adults do not figure out their likings until its too late, and, hence, they are stuck in a non-rewarding job for the rest of their lives as opposed to an enriched career. On the other hand, one problem when students take a year of break before college is that it potentially causes the school-leavers to lose their momentum. For example, a research by UNICEF showed that only half the students who took a year of gap after high school choose to continue with tertiary education as they detest the routine of studying once again in college after an exam-free year. Another potential issue is that one tends to be left a year behind their peers. Notably, some field of study, like a physician, requires long years of studying. Therefore, losing a year by taking a break, puts the student a few steps behind their friends in realising their ambition. In conclusion, while high school leavers can reap benefits by taking a gap year before college, they can also lose their momentum and tend to be lagging behind their peers in their journey of tertiary education.
Although a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and college is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to be useful by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
, other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider it to be detrimental. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
graduate would be able to understand the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and explore one's passion in life by taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
off,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks which should be to
be taken
into account.

On the one hand, there are a number of advantages of taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
of break between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Firstly
, one benefit of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
is that the young adult would appreciate the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and perform better in college when they attend it. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
one would have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
how the world operates
first
-hand,
thus
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'realised' is British English.
realised
the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
that
is placed
upon individuals by society.
Secondly
, it gives time to explore and discover one's passion in life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
young adults do not figure out their
Possible spelling mistake found.
likings
until
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
too late, and,
hence
, they
are stuck
in a non-rewarding job for the rest of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
as opposed to an enriched career.

On the other hand
, one problem when students take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
of break
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
college is that it
potentially
causes the school-leavers to lose their momentum.
For example
,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
by UNICEF
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
half the students who took a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
choose to continue with tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
as they detest the routine of studying once again in college after an exam-free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. Another potential issue is that one tends to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
behind their peers.
Notably
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
field of study, like a physician, requires long years of studying.
Therefore
, losing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
by taking a break, puts the student a few steps behind their friends in
Possible spelling mistake. 'realising' is British English.
realising
their ambition.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
school leavers
can reap benefits by taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
college, they can
also
lose their momentum and tend to be lagging behind their peers in their journey of tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Internet has become major source of information for students. Do you think in the near future intenet will replace the need of books? Discuss your opinion giving reasons and examples. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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