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Many animals are endangered. Some people argue that we should only protect animals that are useful to humans. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many animals are endangered. Some people argue that we should only protect animals that are useful to humans. XeGY
It is irrefutable that, animals play an imperative role to maintaining the ecological balancec on a earth. Although, some people believe that merely protect that fauna which are needed or useful but I opined in reverse manner and disagree to the given statement. My inclination is justified in following paragraphs. To commence with, Out of all the arguments my strongest one to prove my is that, all animals are part of ecocycle and needed to help maintaining the balance on earth. In other words, fauna, flora, humans, birds, etcetera part of earth ecosystems and helpful to make balance on earth. A good example for this is, in a number of studies it is proved that by putting animals in to endangered, several people breaking our food chain on earth and making earth worst place to live. Besides this, it is also true that, humans have no right to take any kind of dicission regarding not helping endangered animals. To be more precise, humans are intelligent animal on earth, that does not mean that humans have a any right to wipe out animals by using them for own purpose. Consequently, all the animals have a right to live. Furthermore, the other robust point to prove my side is that, humans can save animals life rather than hiking them. By this I mean that, humans can hinder hunting and poching of endangered animals. Additionally, government ought to make one legislation imperative to save animals. To cite an example, from last few decades Indian government is trying to save lion and somehow they are successful in their endeavor. Hence, in lieu of killing animals, humans should try to save them. Thus, to wrap up the discussion, it can be said that despite putting animals in to peril everyone ought to save and aid animals by not hunting and selling them and also maintain earth ecosystems balance.
It is irrefutable that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
play an imperative role to maintaining the ecological
Possible spelling mistake found.
balancec on
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
. Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
merely
protect that fauna which
are needed
or useful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I opined in reverse manner and disagree to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement. My inclination
is justified
in following paragraphs.

To commence with, Out of all the arguments my strongest one to prove my is that, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are part of
Possible spelling mistake found.
ecocycle
and needed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
The verb 'help' is used with an infinitive: "to maintain" or "maintain".
maintaining
the balance on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
.
In other words
, fauna, flora,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
, birds, etcetera part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
ecosystems and helpful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
balance on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example for this is, in a number of studies it
is proved
that by putting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in to endangered, several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
breaking our food chain on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
and making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
A determiner is probably missing here: "the worst".
worst
place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
Besides
this, it is
also
true that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
have no right to take any kind of
Possible spelling mistake found.
dicission
regarding not helping endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. To be more precise,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
are intelligent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
, that does not mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
have
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
any right to wipe out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
by using them for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
purpose.
Consequently
, all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have a right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.

Furthermore
, the other robust point to prove my side is that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
life
rather
than hiking them. By this I mean that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
can hinder hunting and
Possible spelling mistake found.
poching
of endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
ought to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
one legislation imperative to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. To cite an example, from last few decades Indian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is trying to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
lion and somehow they are successful in their endeavor.
Hence
, in lieu of killing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
should try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
them.

Thus
, to wrap up the discussion, it can
be said
that despite putting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in to peril everyone ought to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
and aid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
by not hunting and selling them and
also
maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
ecosystems balance.
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IELTS essay Many animals are endangered. Some people argue that we should only protect animals that are useful to humans.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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