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Many adults think that chidhood and schooldays are the best years of life..do you agree or disagree

Many adults think that chidhood and schooldays are the best years of life. . NwKN2
Aspects of life play a significant role in human development. Therefore, a majority of grown-ups believe that childhood and school time are the golden years of one' life. I completely agree with this statement and a number of reasons which will be discussed by this essay in the subsequent paragraphs. To begin with, one of the most important positive aspects of being a child is that they have no worries at this age. As they do not need to take care of the food, clothes, or shelter because parents take care of them with love and affection and try to fulfill their demands. As a result, they enjoy more in their life than adults. For instance, if children make mistakes, parents ignore and forget them unlike in the case of adults. In addition, once a child becomes an adult there would be many responsibilities to fulfill his basic need of life. Moreover, it is easy to learn new skills in school because at this age children are very eager to learn something new. Therefore they participate in extracurricular activities such as dance, music, art and so on which leads to bringing them to work more enthusiastically. As compared to adults, they feel shy and consequently they are unable to show their hidden talent and encounter difficulties to get something new very quickly. Furthermore, they are very energetic and more prone to do physical activities as compared to adults. To conclude, certainly, children are stress free and enjoy their life because they have less duties to do. Whereas, teenagers and adults must go through all these hurdles and responsibilities. That's why school time is the best days of our lives.
Aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
play a significant role in human development.
Therefore
, a majority of grown-ups believe that childhood and school time are the golden years of one'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and a number of reasons which will
be discussed
by this essay in the subsequent paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of being a child is that they have no worries at this age. As they do not need to take care of the food, clothes, or shelter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
parents take care of them with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and affection and try to fulfill their demands.
As a result
, they enjoy more in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
.
For instance
, if children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
mistakes, parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
and forget them unlike in the case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
.
In addition
, once a child becomes an adult there would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
responsibilities to fulfill his basic need of life.

Moreover
, it is easy to learn new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
at this age children are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
eager to learn something new.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
they participate in extracurricular activities such as dance, music, art and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on which leads to bringing them to work more
enthusiastically
. As compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
, they feel shy and
consequently
they are unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their hidden talent and encounter difficulties to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
something new
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
quickly
.
Furthermore
, they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
energetic and more prone to do physical activities as compared to adults.

To conclude
,
certainly
, children are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
free and enjoy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun duties is countable.
less
duties to do. Whereas,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
go through all these hurdles and responsibilities. That's why school time is the best days of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
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IELTS essay Many adults think that chidhood and schooldays are the best years of life. .

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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