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Making relationship in workplace

Making relationship in workplace GrP1x
It is commonly argued among people that inaugurating healthy and good relationships in the place where you are working is not that important as to focus on your own work and complete it in given time. To be honest i partially agree with this statement because it is important for person to complete his/her work in given deadline but that doesn't mean that you should not grow good relations in your work place. To begin with, yes it is very correct that your work is the foremost thing that you have to do, but with this initiating new relations or starting with making your co-workers as your good friends is also necessary. All the day you have to work for the maximum decided hours. Through this all day your tiredness, your confusion and your hard work just makes your energy low. So to respawn it you need some friends over there to hangout with for some time in the break or after your working hours. If you don't make any connections with people in your organisation it would be difficult for you to work continuously for long time everyday because you need some recreation of your mood and energy to continue with your stuff. On the other hand, it is important for you to make happy relations with your managers, employers and people who are designated to higher posts. This will definitely help you in your promotions, provocations and further going good in your company. It will encourage you also to give every inch of your hard work and determination to your work. To summarise, it is important for every person to make good relations in their working place. It is for their development in company only. Also necessary for their good environment and getting out the tiredness out of their body.
It is
commonly
argued among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that inaugurating healthy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
relationships in the place where you are working is not that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
as to focus on your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and complete it in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time. To be honest
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for person to complete his/her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
deadline
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that doesn't mean that you should not grow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relations
in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
place. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, yes it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
correct that your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is the foremost thing that you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with this initiating new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relations
or starting with making your co-workers as your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
friends is
also
necessary. All the day you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for the maximum decided hours. Through this all day your tiredness, your confusion and your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
your energy low.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
to respawn it you need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
friends over there
The verb 'hang out' is spelled as two words. The noun 'hangout' is spelled as one.
to hangout
with for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time in the break or after your working hours. If you don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
any connections with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in your
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
it would be difficult for you to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
continuously
for long time
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
recreation of your mood and energy to continue with your stuff.
On the other hand
, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for you to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relations
with your managers, employers and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
are designated
to higher posts. This will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you in your promotions, provocations and
further
going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
in your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. It will encourage you
also
to give every inch of your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and determination to your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for every person to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relations
in their working place. It is for their development in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
necessary for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
environment and getting out the tiredness out of their body.
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IELTS essay Making relationship in workplace

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
302 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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