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Maintaining the psychological, mental health, Meanwhile pushing kids forward to succeed in life.

Maintaining the psychological, mental health, Meanwhile pushing kids forward to succeed in life. VBBy3
This essay is about the damage caused by parents incorrect disciplines. On the one hand, The way of raising children could be destructive. So, What is the essence of putting a great pressure on kids that results a personalty distortions. Namely, encouraging them to be better people. In recent years it was clearly noticed that families follow devastating practices toward their children in order to let them be successful individuals to benefit a great future. Undoubtedly nothing is more essential than being well psychologically. For instance, lots of Doctors and Engineers are real psychopaths or have deviant tendencies. Furthermore, A number of people think that the physical punishment is the only way to raise the kids well. Nevertheless, we did not see any regulations that incriminate these practices. In my view Government should put strict laws in order to prevent the society these unstable individuals. The aim of this essay is to highlight a number of unspeakable topics which corrode the quality of our life. On the other hand, Comparing them with others could be ruining also. In conclude, I would advise everybody to treat their young people genteelly and try to find alternatives to the physical punishment.
This essay is about the damage caused by parents incorrect disciplines. On the one hand, The way of raising children could be destructive.
So
, What is the essence of putting a great pressure on kids that results a personalty distortions.
Namely
, encouraging them to be better
people
. In recent years it was
clearly
noticed that families follow devastating practices toward their children in order to
let
them be successful individuals to benefit a great future.
Undoubtedly
nothing is more essential than being well
psychologically
.
For instance
, lots of Doctors and Engineers are real psychopaths or have deviant tendencies.
Furthermore
, A number of
people
think
that the physical punishment is the
only
way to raise the kids well.
Nevertheless
, we did not
see
any regulations that incriminate these practices. In my view
Government
should put strict laws in order to
prevent
the society these unstable individuals. The aim of this essay is to highlight a number of unspeakable topics which corrode the quality of our life.
On the other hand
, Comparing them with others could be ruining
also
. In conclude, I would advise everybody to treat their young
people
genteelly
and try to find alternatives to the physical punishment.
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IELTS essay Maintaining the psychological, mental health, Meanwhile pushing kids forward to succeed in life.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
198 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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