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Main factor of shopping is age nothing else upto which extent do you agree or disagree?

Main factor of shopping is age nothing else upto which extent PVlWE
Nowadays, shopping has become an important part of everyone's life. However, all age group people do essential shopping according to their needs more than any other aspect. I disagree with the statement that gender, money and interest are equally valuable for purchase things. Firstly, people of all ages buy the products of their personal favourite brand as per requirements and qualities. For example, The elderly lady want to purchase the current trending bag from channel brand so she can easily order that bag without any hesitation like that bag particularly designed for younger girls although if she want to own to her desired bag genuinely because every branded companies provide latest edition of products for all ages groups. Inspite of caring about everything many people follow their heart and go with latest fashion and makeover according to leading trends. In different cases lot of elderly faces difficulties while selecting products between choices and trends and at last they pick the convenient products for themselves. To illustrate, the brand new company called The Fashion Hub; leading the market with most selling products like clothes, footwear etc for elderly people. This firm not only provides world latest limited edition products to all the ages but also give huge discounts on each and every product. To conclude, this shopping is not follow according to anyone's age instead of interest, money and desires.
Nowadays, shopping has become an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of everyone's life.
However
, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do essential shopping according to their needs more than any other aspect. I disagree with the statement that gender, money and interest are
equally
valuable for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
things.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
of their personal
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
brand as per requirements and qualities.
For example
, The elderly lady want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
trending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bag
from channel brand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
she can
easily
order that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bag
without any hesitation like that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bag
particularly
designed for younger girls although if she
The pronoun 'she' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "wants", "wanted".
want
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
to her desired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bag
genuinely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
every branded
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
provide
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
edition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
groups.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Inspite
of caring about everything
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
follow their heart and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
fashion and makeover according to leading trends. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "cases'" or "case's"?
cases
lot of elderly faces difficulties while selecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
between choices and trends and at last they pick the convenient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
for themselves. To illustrate, the
'brand new' seems to be a compound adjective in front of a noun. Use a hyphen: "brand-new".
brand new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
called The Fashion Hub; leading the market with most selling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
like clothes, footwear etc for elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This firm not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provides world latest limited edition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
give huge discounts on each and every product.

To conclude
, this shopping is not
Consider using a past participle here: "followed".
follow
according to anyone's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
instead
of interest, money and desires.
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IELTS essay Main factor of shopping is age nothing else upto which extent

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
229 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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