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hard work is the only key to success.discuss both the merits and the demerits of this statement

hard work is the only key to success. discuss both the merits and the demerits of this statement 9L3w7
It is generally said to kinder that anything in this world can be achieved by working hard or in other terms hard work is the only key to success. In this essay, I would like to discuss both the merits and the demerits of this statement being given to kids. First of all, inclining young generation towards hard word helps in developing positive attitude in them and formation of good habit. A child understands the importance of hard work and consumes this advice in such a way that he follows this principle in his daily routine to get desired results. For instance, IAS aspirants in India study day and night to become a IAS officer. They knew that they will get the result of their efforts in long term so they leave no stone unturned to clear the exam. Hence, their believe in hard work that they have been taught in early childhood helps them in achieving their goal in future. On the contrary, Hard work is not the only ingredient of success. Others things like smart work, personally etc. also plays a vital role in life. To exemplify, the scholars who prefer private job face problem in adjusting in corporate environment due to their belief in hard work. Those who are smart worker knows that pleasing the boss, delegating the work etc. are other crucial parameters of success. So, they become more successful in their professional life. To conclude, I want to reiterate that, there are cons and pros of telling children that hard work is the key to success. In some cases, children become successful in life by following this but there are cases when they did not get desired result by just doing rigorous work.
It is
generally
said to kinder that anything in this world can
be achieved
by working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
or in other terms
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
key to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. In this essay, I would like to discuss both the merits and the demerits of this statement being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to kids.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, inclining young generation towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
word
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in developing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attitude in them and formation of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
habit. A child understands the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and consumes this advice in such a way that he follows this principle in his daily routine to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
desired results.
For instance
, IAS aspirants in India study day and night to become
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
IAS officer. They knew that they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the result of their efforts in long term
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
no stone unturned to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
the exam.
Hence
, their
Did you mean "belief" (noun) instead of believe (verb)?
believe
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
that they have
been taught
in early childhood
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them in achieving their goal
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.

On the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
ingredient of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. Others things like smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
personally
etc.
also
plays a vital role in life. To exemplify, the scholars who prefer private job face problem
Adverb repetition. Please, verify.
in adjusting in
corporate environment due to their belief in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. Those who are smart worker knows that pleasing the boss, delegating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
etc. are other crucial parameters of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they become more successful in their professional life.

To conclude
, I want to reiterate that, there are cons and pros of telling children that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is the key to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, children become successful in life by following this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are cases when they did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
desired result by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
doing rigorous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
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IELTS essay hard work is the only key to success. discuss both the merits and the demerits of this statement

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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