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Machine is important in these days

Machine is important in these days mbXGr
In the technological millennium, machines are gradually replacing numerous things. Honestly, computers are substituting public libraries consequently a large number of people think that the authorities should not waste money on the maintenance of public libraries. In my view, i absolutely disagree with this opinion. These days the number of criminals are proliferating at an alarming rate. According to many studies numerous offenders tend to commit more crimes after they are released from prison. This essay will discuss the reasons why this is the case of and bring out the measure ti tackle this issue. To begin with, there exist some reasons why ex-convicts tend to relapse more offenses. First, almost criminals can not control mind before such temptations of lives such as money or jewelry which lead to many bad situations as theft or aggressive-homicidal. Therefore, this is the host reason why suspect easily commit their fault. Furthermore, a person who be set free from prison are always slighted and discriminated by citizen and society. As a consequence they can not seek for business opportunities and have no chance to start again with a clean slate. For instance, an ex- criminal after being released and applies to enterprise for career. The recruiter will deny his application for occupation since criminals are always a threat to company although he has an intellectual faculty consequently criminals easily relapse crimes again to earn money in order to survive in hard lives There are several ways which Government and Ministry of Public Security had better do to tackle this problem. Firstly, Ministry of Public Security should tighten convicts' relationship to minimize the risk of reoffence. For example, a former criminal merely get out of prison and is unemployed, a bad organization is a terrible temptation for offender. They do not have money or job so they ought to do everything to earn money for lives including theft. Secondly, Government should promote building some employment centers which are intended for wrongdoers after released. As a result, they can get job rapidly to earn money and survive in lives. Moreover, I think that most individual should not discriminate with culprit when they are set free. People had better alive In harmony with each other to ex-convicts can have a chance to share emotions and restart lives with a clean slate. Hence, citizen and society will be safer than ever before. In conclusion, government and each individual should Co-ordinate with each other to minimize a number of culprit who relapse crimes again and not to discriminate completely against in lives. TOPIC: Criminals relapse their mistake after leaving prison
In the technological millennium, machines are
gradually
replacing numerous things.
Honestly
, computers are substituting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries
consequently
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the authorities should not waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on the maintenance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries. In my view,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
absolutely
disagree with this opinion. These days the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are proliferating at an alarming rate. According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
studies numerous offenders tend to commit more crimes after they
are released
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
. This essay will discuss the reasons why this is the case of and bring out the measure ti tackle this issue. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there exist
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why ex-convicts tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relapse
more offenses.
First
, almost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
can not control mind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
such temptations of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
or jewelry which lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
situations as theft or aggressive-homicidal.
Therefore
, this is the host reason why suspect
easily
commit their fault.
Furthermore
, a person who
be set
free from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
are always slighted and discriminated by citizen and society. As a consequence they can not seek for business opportunities and have no chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
again with a clean slate.
For instance
, an ex-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
after
being released
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
applies to
enterprise for career. The recruiter will deny his application for occupation since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are always a threat to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
although he has an intellectual faculty
consequently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
easily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relapse
crimes again to earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in order to survive in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
There are several ways which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
and Ministry of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Public
Security had better do to tackle this problem.
Firstly
, Ministry of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Public
Security should tighten convicts' relationship to minimize the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
reoffence
.
For example
, a former
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
merely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
and
is unemployed
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
organization is a terrible temptation for offender. They do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
or job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they ought to do everything to earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
including theft.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should promote building
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
employment centers which
are intended
for wrongdoers after released.
As a result
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
job
rapidly
to earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and survive in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
Moreover
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that most individual should not discriminate with culprit when they
are set
free.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
had better alive In harmony with each other to ex-convicts can have a chance to share emotions and restart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
with a clean slate.
Hence
, citizen and society will be safer than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and each individual should Co-ordinate with each other to minimize a number of culprit who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relapse
crimes again and not to discriminate completely against in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. TOPIC:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Criminals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relapse
their mistake after leaving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
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IELTS essay Machine is important in these days

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
431 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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