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ln some curtures the old oge is more volued, while in some cufiures the youlh is more valued. Discuss bolh views ond give you own opinion.

ln some curtures the old oge is more volued, while in some cufiures the youlh is more valued. Discuss bolh views ond give you own opinion. qbmG
People in various cultures have different attitudes towards age. They opine that in Western societies the elderly are not respected while in Asian societies old people are always revered. This essay intends to analyse both perspectives. Firstly, I opine that old age is respected here, there and everywhere as old age is often associated with wisdom. With ages comes from experience and in most societies younger people usually consult older ones for advice on relationships and other matters. In some societies, not only older members of the family, but also ancestors are revered. However, in some nations the youth are more valued than older people since a young, vibrant workforce is needed for the holic development of the country. Many governments give priority to young people in terms of education as the future of that country is in the hands of younger people. By doing so, young people will be well-educated and equipped with proper knowledge. Eventually, they can move the society forward. I believe that age itself is not a qualification for anything. If we look at Western countries, we can find politicians or company executives in their sixties. In addition, as life expectancy increases, older people are becoming more valued as voters. On the other hand, in countries where elders were previously obeyed blindly, people come to understand that old age does not always mean wisdom. The obsolete way of running family, work or company may not work today as we are living in this era of technology. To sum up, the old and the young are essential for our society at the same level, thus they both should be valued. An ideal society should have a balance. We should appreciate both the potential of the young and the experience of old age.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
in various cultures have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
attitudes towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. They opine that in Western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
the elderly are not respected while in Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are always revered. This essay intends to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
both perspectives.

Firstly
, I opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is respected
here, there and everywhere as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
associated with wisdom. With
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from experience and in most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
consult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
ones for advice on relationships and other matters. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
members of the family,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
ancestors
are revered
.

However
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations the youth are more valued than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
since a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
, vibrant workforce
is needed
for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
holic
development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
give priority to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in terms of education as the future of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is in the hands of younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. By doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be well-educated and equipped with proper knowledge.
Eventually
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
forward.

I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
itself is not a qualification for anything. If we look at Western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, we can find politicians or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
executives in their sixties.
In addition
, as life expectancy increases,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming more valued as voters.
On the other hand
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
where elders were previously obeyed
blindly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to understand that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
does not always mean wisdom. The obsolete way of running family, work or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
may not work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
as we are living in this era of technology. To sum up, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
are essential for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
at the same level,
thus
they both should
be valued
. An ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
should have a balance. We should appreciate both the potential of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
and the experience of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
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IELTS essay ln some curtures the old oge is more volued, while in some cufiures the youlh is more valued. Discuss bolh views ond give you own opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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