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In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them? 8mAx
Most of the nations are dealing with issue of obesity and related health concern due to the rise in fast food culture and sedentary life style. The solution of this epidemic is to cultivate healthy life style in every age group as well as promoting fitness and doing recreational physical activity like playing sports, swimming or running etc. Diet play most essential role in the health of a person, With advancement and busy life style people are opting for junk food due to the fact that they have no time to cook, Moreover it is cheap and readily available. This convenience food is spiked with lot of trans fats and preservative consequently long term consumption of this food lead to cardiac issue like hypertension, Diabetes as well as hypercholesterolemia. Other most common reason behind rise overweight population is sedentary lifestyle with internet era people lie down on their couch and can experience the whole world they don't feel like any motivation to do any outdoor activities. People are more buried in making money hence their time revolve around work as a result they have no time to involve in any sports like working out, soccer or swimming, consequently lead to poor health. Turning towards the solution to these concern the most essential step is to promote health education in the schools, kids must understand the gravity of good health, Monthly seminars as well as drama skits to promote sports is good step other than that schools can celebrate sports event and the best athletes should be rewarded it can spark the graveness of sports in them other than education. Government must push ads of heathy diet on the television as it is the largest platform to reach common man, It can bring awareness among the people. government can develop public parks and sports center so that people can go to these places to some physical activity like jogging or yoga. In conclusion although bad food choices and sedentary life style lead to increase obese population and related health concerns all of these can be overcome with the help of active life style and good eating habits.
Most of the nations are dealing with issue of obesity and related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
concern due to the rise in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
culture and sedentary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
. The solution of this epidemic is to cultivate healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
in every age group
as well
as promoting fitness and doing recreational physical activity like playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, swimming or running etc.

Diet play most essential role in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of a person, With advancement and busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are opting for junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
due to the fact that they have no time to cook,
Moreover
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
and
readily
available. This convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is spiked
with
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
trans fats and preservative
consequently
long term consumption of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
lead to cardiac issue like hypertension, Diabetes
as well
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
hypercholesterolemia
.

Other most common reason behind rise overweight population is sedentary lifestyle with internet era
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lie down on their couch and can experience the whole world they don't feel like any motivation to do any outdoor activities.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are more buried in making money
hence
their time revolve around work
as a result
they have no time to involve in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
like working out, soccer or swimming,
consequently
lead to poor health.

Turning towards the solution to these concern the most essential step is to promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
education in the schools, kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
understand the gravity of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, Monthly seminars
as well
as drama skits to promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
step other than that schools can celebrate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
and the best athletes should
be rewarded
it can spark the graveness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in them other than education.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
push ads of
Possible spelling mistake found.
heathy
diet on the television as it is the largest platform to reach common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
, It can bring awareness among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
government
can develop public parks and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
center
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can go to these places to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
physical activity like jogging or yoga.

In conclusion
although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
choices and sedentary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
lead to increase obese population and related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
concerns all of these can
be overcome
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of active
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
style
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
eating habits.
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IELTS essay In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
356 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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