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Some people say that public schools have more advantages than private schools.

Some people say that public schools have more advantages than private schools. WAw0
Nowadays, most of the people, choose public school to study their children because of money. Others want to travel private school to be learned by well-educated teacher. In the following paragraphs we will discuss two these views in the essay. Some of the parents hope that their children ragularly attend to public school when they are seven years old because it is compulsory education. If student study in the school, they will not pay and there are five or six lesson in a day which it takes that fourty five minutes. A further advantage of public school all of the poor can do activity of learning today. For example, there are a lot of public school in Uzbekistan that it consists of one thousand two hundred seventy four schools there. After the lesson, all of the pupils come back at home at 1 p. m. or 2p. m. On the other hand, the private school is convenient for parents who do not have time their children to do homework because they always work at work place where it is far from their house. Every person is been kind of by teacher during six days in a week because they only go to home at the weekend. Since students' meals are checked by nurse, they eat food 5 time in a day. For instance, Private School by name Juraev where is situated in Xojand and pupils of the school stay in its bedrooms. In addition, student engage different clubs such as sport club and other subjects, after the lesson. Private schools are independent so the government never control it. In other words, children' parents must not default to school to study every month. As was previously stated, both private school and public school have advantage and disadvantage so you may choose one what you want always.
Nowadays, most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "chooses".
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to study their children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of money. Others want to travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to
be learned
by well-educated teacher. In the following paragraphs we will discuss two these views in the essay.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
parents hope that their children
Possible spelling mistake found.
ragularly
attend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
when they are seven years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is compulsory education. If student study in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, they will not pay and there are five or six
Possible agreement error. The noun 'lesson' seems to be countable, so consider using: "lessons".
lesson
in a day which it takes that
Possible spelling mistake found.
fourty
five minutes. A
further
advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
Consider using "all the".
all of the
poor can do activity of learning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
For example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in Uzbekistan that it consists of one thousand two hundred
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
seventy four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
there. After the lesson,
Consider using "all the".
all of the
pupils
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back at home at 1 p. m. or 2p. m. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is convenient for parents who do not have time their children to do homework
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they always work at work place where it is far from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. Every person
is been
kind of by teacher during six days in a week
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
There isn't usually a preposition before "home". Did you mean "go home"?
go to home
The phrase 'at the weekend' is a British English expression, which is used the same way as "on the weekend" in American English.
at the weekend
. Since students' meals are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
by nurse, they eat food 5 time in a day.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
by name
Possible spelling mistake found.
Juraev
where
is situated
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Xojand
and pupils of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
stay in its bedrooms.
In addition
, student engage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
clubs such as sport club and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
subjects, after the lesson.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are independent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
never control it. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, children' parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not default to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to study every month. As was previously stated, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
have advantage and disadvantage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
you may choose one what you want always.
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Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Some people say that public schools have more advantages than private schools.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
305 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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