Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

More and more measures to improve the security in large urban areas have been introduced in many countries because of the increased crime. Do the benefits of these measures outweigh the drawbacks?

More and more measures to improve the security in large urban areas have been introduced in many countries because of the increased crime. Do the benefits of these measures outweigh the drawbacks? nrPR
Currently, crime is becoming an increasing problem in people’s daily lives. There is a phenomenon that a rising number of measures, like policemen with guns and the CCTV, are utilized to improve the security in urban areas. Some people hold a view that it is essential to keep social stability, while others argue against this idea. This essay will discuss the issue from both perspectives. It is true that these ways bring numerous benefits. To begin with, more illegal individuals will be arrested because of there being more policemen. Thus, we can have a safer living environment, which makes us comfortable. In addition, it is an effective method, as it gives a warning to the people who intend to commit a crime. These potential criminals will give up their thoughts when they meet with so many facilities of security. As a result, the crime rate will reduce. Conversely, there are a good many drawbacks of the measures. First of all, it might cause some tension in the population. The CCTV, for instance, supervises not only illegal activities, but also individuals’ privacy. Some boys and girls cannot even do anything intimate, in particular kiss, because of it. Moreover, when policemen are fighting with robbers, then can seldom guarantee that there are no citizens being injured accidentally. It is a threat to residents’ lives. Last but not least, enhancing the security needs a great deal of capital. It means we may be not able to invest sufficient money into other crucial fields, especially education. In summary, although taking more measures to enhance the security in cities will bring people some advantages, it seems that its downside exceed the benefits. As far as I am concerned, it is not a good idea to spend too much on security, because there many other areas, which are more worth investing in.
Currently
, crime is becoming an increasing problem in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. There is a phenomenon that a rising number of measures, like policemen with guns and the CCTV,
are utilized
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
in urban areas.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold a view that it is essential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
social stability, while others argue against this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. This essay will discuss the issue from both perspectives.

It is true that these ways bring numerous benefits. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, more illegal individuals will
be arrested
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of there being more policemen.
Thus
, we can have a safer living environment, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us comfortable.
In addition
, it is an effective method, as it gives a warning to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who intend to commit a crime. These potential criminals will give up their thoughts when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
facilities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
.
As a result
, the crime rate will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
.

Conversely
, there are a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drawbacks of the measures.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it might cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tension in the population. The CCTV,
for instance
, supervises not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
illegal activities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
individuals’ privacy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
boys and girls cannot even do anything intimate,
in particular
kiss,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of it.
Moreover
, when policemen are fighting with robbers, then can seldom guarantee that there are no citizens
being injured
accidentally
. It is a threat to residents’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, enhancing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
needs a great deal of capital. It means we may be not able to invest sufficient money into other crucial fields,
especially
education.

In summary, although taking more measures to enhance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
in cities will bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages, it seems that its downside exceed the benefits. As far as I
am concerned
, it is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to spend too much on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other areas, which are more worth investing in.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay More and more measures to improve the security in large urban areas have been introduced in many countries because of the increased crime. Do the benefits of these measures outweigh the drawbacks?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • More and more measures to improve the security in large urban areas have been introduced in many countries because of the increased crime. Do the benefits of these measures outweigh the drawbacks?