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More and more measures to improve the security in large urban areas have been introduced in many countries because of the increased crime. Do the benefits of these measures outweigh the drawbacks?

More and more measures to improve the security in large urban areas have been introduced in many countries because of the increased crime. Do the benefits of these measures outweigh the drawbacks? nrPR
Currently, crime is becoming an increasing problem in people’s daily lives. There is a phenomenon that a rising number of measures, like policemen with guns and the CCTV, are utilized to improve the security in urban areas. Some people hold a view that it is essential to keep social stability, while others argue against this idea. This essay will discuss the issue from both perspectives. It is true that these ways bring numerous benefits. To begin with, more illegal individuals will be arrested because of there being more policemen. Thus, we can have a safer living environment, which makes us comfortable. In addition, it is an effective method, as it gives a warning to the people who intend to commit a crime. These potential criminals will give up their thoughts when they meet with so many facilities of security. As a result, the crime rate will reduce. Conversely, there are a good many drawbacks of the measures. First of all, it might cause some tension in the population. The CCTV, for instance, supervises not only illegal activities, but also individuals’ privacy. Some boys and girls cannot even do anything intimate, in particular kiss, because of it. Moreover, when policemen are fighting with robbers, then can seldom guarantee that there are no citizens being injured accidentally. It is a threat to residents’ lives. Last but not least, enhancing the security needs a great deal of capital. It means we may be not able to invest sufficient money into other crucial fields, especially education. In summary, although taking more measures to enhance the security in cities will bring people some advantages, it seems that its downside exceed the benefits. As far as I am concerned, it is not a good idea to spend too much on security, because there many other areas, which are more worth investing in.
Currently
, crime is becoming an increasing problem in
people’s
daily
lives
. There is a phenomenon that a rising number of measures, like policemen with guns and the CCTV,
are utilized
to
improve
the
security
in urban areas.
Some
people
hold a view that it is essential to
keep
social stability, while others argue against this
idea
. This essay will discuss the issue from both perspectives.

It is true that these ways bring numerous benefits. To
begin
with, more illegal individuals will
be arrested
because
of there being more policemen.
Thus
, we can have a safer living environment, which
makes
us comfortable.
In addition
, it is an effective method, as it gives a warning to the
people
who intend to commit a crime. These potential criminals will give up their thoughts when they
meet
with
so
many
facilities of
security
.
As a result
, the crime rate will
reduce
.

Conversely
, there are a
good
many
drawbacks of the measures.
First of all
, it might cause
some
tension in the population. The CCTV,
for instance
, supervises not
only
illegal activities,
but
also
individuals’ privacy.
Some
boys and girls cannot even do anything intimate,
in particular
kiss,
because
of it.
Moreover
, when policemen are fighting with robbers, then can seldom guarantee that there are no citizens
being injured
accidentally
. It is a threat to residents’
lives
. Last
but
not least, enhancing the
security
needs a great deal of capital. It means we may be not able to invest sufficient money into other crucial fields,
especially
education.

In summary, although taking more measures to enhance the
security
in cities will bring
people
some
advantages, it seems that its downside exceed the benefits. As far as I
am concerned
, it is not a
good
idea
to spend too much on
security
,
because
there
many
other areas, which are more worth investing in.
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IELTS essay More and more measures to improve the security in large urban areas have been introduced in many countries because of the increased crime. Do the benefits of these measures outweigh the drawbacks?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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