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Living with animals, such as owing a pet dog, cat or birds, is good for people. Do you agree ir disagree?

Living with animals, such as owing a pet dog, cat or birds, is good for people. Do you agree ir disagree? wMw2Y
Human beings have shared the world with animals since the dawn time. Throughout the history animals have provided humanity not only with sustenance and work, but also a good companionship. It is agreed that living with animals is beneficial for people. This argument will be proven by looking at how sharing a home with an animal both encourage feelings of empathy and teach responsibility. Firstly, common dwelling between animal and human for one can help to understand the feelings and needs of others. To illustrate this, when I was younger I was required to take care of our family's two dogs. Caring for these dogs demended to be conscious of their needs and I believe this was a very key reason in my development as an empathic person. As my example shows, living with animals has a positive effect on people. In addition to this, people who share homes with animals are taught how to become responsible. Returning to the prior example, as a boy I have to follow rigorous schedule to ensure dogs were fed on time, and taken outside a few times a day. This daily practice in being responsible for another living thing had a very strong impact on my sense of duty. Following to this look at how living with animals increse a person's sense of empathy and understanding of responsibility, it has been proven that sharing a home with another living thing has more pros than cons. Thus, owing a pet is highly recommended.
Human beings have shared the world with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
since the dawn time. Throughout the history
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have provided humanity not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
with sustenance and work,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
companionship.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is beneficial for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. This argument will
be proven
by looking at how sharing a home with an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
both encourage feelings of empathy and teach responsibility.

Firstly
, common dwelling between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
and human for one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to understand the feelings and needs of others. To illustrate this, when I was younger I
was required
to take care of our family's two dogs. Caring for these dogs
Possible spelling mistake found.
demended
to be conscious of their needs and I believe this was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
key reason in my development as an empathic person. As my example
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In addition
to this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who share homes with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are taught
how to become responsible. Returning to the prior example, as a boy I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
follow rigorous schedule to ensure dogs
were fed
on time, and taken outside a few times a day. This daily practice in being responsible for another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
thing had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
strong impact on my sense of duty.

Following to this look at how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
Possible spelling mistake found.
increse
a person's sense of empathy and understanding of responsibility, it has
been proven
that sharing a home with another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
thing has more pros than cons.

Thus
, owing a pet is
highly
recommended.
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IELTS essay Living with animals, such as owing a pet dog, cat or birds, is good for people. Do you agree ir disagree?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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