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Describe an electronic device you want to buy.

Describe an electronic device you want to buy. PkYmJ
I have fascinations about electronic devices - to buy them, own them and use them. Interestingly, among my very personal belongings, the number of electronic devices forms the major part. The need for the latest electronic devices is never-ending, and that is why I often feel to replace my old TV with a new one or want to purchase a new music system when I find it as a new-arrival item in the market. One such electronic device that I would like to purchase is a washing machine. I have a washing machine at home but it is more than 3 years old and I feel the need to buy a new one. The model that I have in mind would require a good amount of money, and I am planning to buy it at the beginning of the next year. It would cost me around 1, 200 USD. Since this is a branded product, the price might vary at the time I would purchase it. The washing machine that I currently have requires some manual works and I am planning to buy a new washing machine that would require very little manual works to have my laundry done. The number of clothes that need washing has increased dramatically over the years, and it has become cumbersome for me to do all those laundry works using the old washing machine that I have. Furthermore, the old washing machine does not have any facility to dry the clothes, and as a result, I have to take the burden to take all the clothes on the roof-top and have them dried out in the sunlight. The rainy season sometimes makes it very difficult, and that’s why I am planning to replace it with a new one that would facilitate me to dry out the clothes as well.
I have fascinations about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
them,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them.
Interestingly
, among my
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
personal belongings, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
forms the major part. The need for the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
is never-ending, and
that is
why I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
feel to replace my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
TV with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
one or want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
music system when I find it as a new-arrival item in the market.

One such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
that I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
is a washing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
. I have a washing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
at home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is more than 3 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
and I feel the need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
one. The model that I have in mind would require a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
amount of money, and I am planning to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it at the beginning of the
next
year. It would cost me around 1, 200 USD. Since this is a branded product, the price might vary at the time I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
it.

The washing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
that I
currently
have requires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
manual
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
works and
I am planning to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
washing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
that would require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
manual works to have my laundry done. The number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
that need washing has increased
dramatically
over the years, and it has become cumbersome for me to do all those laundry works using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
washing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
that I have.

Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
washing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
does not have any facility to dry the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
, and
as a result
, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take the burden to take all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
on the roof-top and have them dried out in the sunlight. The rainy season
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult, and that’s why I am planning to replace it with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
one that would facilitate me to dry out the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
as well
.
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IELTS essay Describe an electronic device you want to buy.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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