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Living in the Countryside or City

Living in the Countryside or City EqReL
A multitude of people believe that living in the countryside is more conducive to a healthy way of living, in contrast, many argue that settling down in cities is able to enhance people's health effectively. Personally, I hold a firm belief that there are better health benefits of living in the countryside. To begin with, there are a number of reasons why so many individuals think that living in urban life could provide more conditions suitable for a healthy lifestyle. First of all, cities often have a wide range of the latest modern healthcare services which could greatly aid city dwellers looking to lead a more healthy life. For instance, they can readily access advanced medical services to help them recover from serious illnesses or prevent them from underlying disease. What more, living in urban areas, citizens can satisfy modern amenities as well as have better social security. Urban dwellers might have easy access to a wide variety of sports, gyms which follow highly specialized diets that best suit their physique or they could relieve their stress after a hard-working day by visiting game parlors and cinemas which attract them to be mentally fit. However, I would be inclined to argue against this as I believe the situations above are exceptional and most individuals benefit more from active life in the countryside. While city residents tend to be sedentary due to the increasing development of the internet and services, individuals in the countryside are more likely to walk to school, workplace; spend time with friends outdoors, play a variety of sports, and work more physically demanding jobs. All these small instances of activity combined over the span of days, months, and years contribute to better overall conditioning and health. Also, since people living in rural areas have less access to pollution from cars, factories, noise, etc and such a busy lifestyle, they can decrease the rate of catching psychological problems like stress and depression that seem to be faced by most urban dwellers. On the whole, despite the modern medical facilities present in urban areas, the less passive living in the rural areas could make it healthier in general. I strongly support individuals who prioritize health considering living outside of an urban area.
A multitude of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the countryside is more conducive to a healthy way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
,
in contrast
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
argue that settling down in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is able to enhance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
effectively
.
Personally
, I hold a firm belief that there are better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the countryside.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are a number of reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
life could provide more conditions suitable for a healthy lifestyle.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have a wide range of the latest modern healthcare services which could
greatly
aid city dwellers looking to lead a more healthy life.
For instance
, they can
readily
access advanced medical services to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them recover from serious illnesses or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from underlying disease. What more,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, citizens can satisfy modern amenities
as well
as have better social security.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Urban
dwellers might have easy access to a wide variety of sports, gyms which follow
highly
specialized diets that best suit their
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
physique or
they could relieve their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
after a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working day by visiting game parlors and cinemas which attract them to be mentally fit.

However
, I would
be inclined
to argue against this as I believe the situations above are exceptional and most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
benefit more from active life in the countryside. While city residents tend to be sedentary due to the increasing development of the internet and services,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
in the countryside are more likely to walk to school, workplace; spend time with friends outdoors, play a variety of sports, and work more
physically
demanding jobs. All these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
instances of activity combined over the span of days, months, and years contribute to better
overall
conditioning and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Also
, since
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
have less access to pollution from cars, factories, noise, etc and such a busy lifestyle, they can decrease the rate of catching psychological problems like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and depression that seem to
be faced
by most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
dwellers.

On the whole
, despite the modern medical facilities present in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, the less passive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it healthier
in general
. I
strongly
support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
who prioritize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
considering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
.
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IELTS essay Living in the Countryside or City

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
373 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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