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living in a high-rise apartment-task2

living in a high-rise apartment-task2 7JYeX
Living in a tall building has not a community spirit for some people. However, it has a quite good sense of community for others. I believe that this idea depends on what people want while they are living in an area. For a lot of people, living in a high-rise apartment block could be a good experience. In the housing estates, there are many activity areas such as pool, gym center, walking way, meeting hall, etc. So, if you participate that kind of outdoor activities, you can have community spirit. Nevertheless, there are different kind of occupants who have diverse culture in these buildings and sometimes that can cause problems. Everybody needs to be respectfully each other and follows the rules. On the other hand, some people want to live in a detached house and they think it is more comfortable than living in a tall apartment block and have many options to socialize. You can invite lots of people even at the late hours and nobody will not be disturbed which means you are completely free to do somethings. Also, you can build a pool on your garden, plant some floras, have an animal, etc. and thanks to these opportunities, you do not be lonely. In conclusion, I think to have a detached house has got more opportunities compared to living in a building but everybody can not afford to live in a detached house. Additionally, both of them depends on lifestyles, expectations of people which means people could be happy in both situation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Living
in a tall building has not a community spirit for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, it has a quite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
sense of community for others. I believe that this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
depends on what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want while they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in an area.

For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a high-rise apartment block could be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
experience. In the housing estates, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
activity areas such as pool, gym center, walking way, meeting hall, etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if you participate that kind of outdoor activities, you can have community spirit.
Nevertheless
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "kinds"?
kind
of occupants who have diverse culture in these buildings and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
that can cause problems. Everybody needs to be
respectfully
each other and follows the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a detached
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
house and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is more comfortable than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a tall apartment block and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
options to socialize. You can invite lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
even at the late hours and nobody will not
be disturbed
which means you are completely free to do somethings.
Also
, you can build a pool on your garden,
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "plants".
plant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
floras, have an animal, etc. and thanks to these opportunities, you do not be lonely.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
to have a detached
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
more opportunities compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a building
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
everybody can not afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a detached
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
Additionally
, both of them depends on lifestyles, expectations of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could be happy in both situation.
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IELTS essay living in a high-rise apartment-task2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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