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large impressive buildings important for a city-task 2

large impressive buildings important for a city-task 2 3AN1d
Huge, attractive buildings have a significant value to lots of people who live in a city. But some people support that schools and hospitals need to more attraction compared to buildings. Firstly, impressive buildings can contribute to a city, local citizens. Thanks to unusual buildings with a good urban planning, a city gets lots of benefits from tourists and those buildings become a landmark for them. They add variety and interest. Tourists are willing to spend money so, they bring money. In addition, this kind of structures could be use to important functions such as exhibition halls, galleries, hotels, shop centers, libraries, etc. For example, cubic houses which is a museum and a hotel in holland are interesting structures for many people in the world and they just go there to see inside these houses. On the other hand, I also believe that schools and hospitals should be improve regularly to provide people a good, quality service. Governments should give attention on these sectors to improve people’s quality of life which means to develop country. For instance, Finland had a quite bad fortune at the old times and citizens had come together and made and incredible change thanks to the importance they give to education. When people cannot receive proper, enough education and healthcare services that could cause a big problem for a country and it begins to decline dramatically. In conclusion, I think that both of them are incredibly important to improve a country. Therefore, governments need to balance between them and should give equal importance them.
Huge, attractive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
have a significant value to lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a city.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
support that schools and hospitals need to more attraction compared to buildings.

Firstly
, impressive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
can contribute to a city, local citizens. Thanks to unusual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
urban planning, a city
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
lots of benefits from tourists and those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
become a landmark for them. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
variety and interest. Tourists are willing to spend money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they bring money.
In addition
, this kind of structures could be
Did you mean "used"?
use
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
functions such as exhibition halls, galleries, hotels, shop centers, libraries, etc.
For example
, cubic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
which is a museum and a hotel in
Possible spelling mistake found.
holland
are interesting structures for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
world and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
go there to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
inside these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.

On the other hand
, I
also
believe that schools and hospitals should be
Consider using the past participle "improved"?
improve
regularly
to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
, quality service.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
should give attention on these sectors to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
quality of life which means to develop country.
For instance
, Finland had a quite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
fortune at the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
times and citizens had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
together and made and incredible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
thanks to the importance they give to education. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot receive proper,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
education and healthcare services that could cause a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problem for a country and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
to decline
dramatically
.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that both of them are
incredibly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
a country.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
need to balance between them and should give equal importance them.
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IELTS essay large impressive buildings important for a city-task 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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