Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Listening to the music from streaming is better than listening to the hard copy ones

Listening to the music from streaming is better than listening to the hard copy ones N3klg
In the present day, the ways of consuming music have been changing especially in the last five years. That was, Joox along with Spotify and YouTube Music, the music streaming service, was launched in Thailand in 2016, 2017, and 2019 respectively. Meanwhile, the hard-physical support such as CDs, cassette tapes, or vinyl records has declined in popularity except for the big fan of music collectors despite the demands from music fans. As the consequence, I prefer music streaming to listening to hard-copy materials for the following two reasons. First of all, listening to music streaming could share the income to the artists directly, supporting him/her/their in the same way as purchasing the hard-copy ones. That is, anytime I listen to my favorite song from my top class artist (especially albums of Taylor Swift’s Lover to Red in “Taylor’s Version”), the passive income would be shared with the artists and producers. Since the income from this way is regarded as essential for having the encouragement to produce the future works along concert tour or official merchandise. Besides, a number of streams in each song could enter the chart just like the standard music chart such as Billboard Hot 100 or UK Single Charts. In addition, it could reduce music piracy from the last decade according to the right choice for the new generation with the second reason. Secondly, the expense is friendly for everyone to access. That is, there is the limitation in the Spotify normal use (5 skips in an hour and the commercial breaks), and it would be upgraded for unlimited music with a “Premium account” just for ฿129 per month with cancellation anytime. It could be understood that the budget of this music streaming service is more affordable than the hard-copy ones (฿200 - ฿1, 100 per unit and artist’s popularity), and it is appropriate for the music fans who have not budget enough to become “music collector”, listing to the music online. To summarize, I agree with listening to music streaming services as it could be considered as the moderate choice to enjoy the music in the present days. That is, you could save money and enter the various and widened dimensions of music just for the price of a grilled pork buffet meal. So that, the more you listen to music legally, the better the music industry it would be.
In the present day, the ways of consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
have been changing
especially
in the last five years. That was,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Joox
along with Spotify and YouTube
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
streaming
service,
was launched
in Thailand in 2016, 2017, and 2019
respectively
. Meanwhile, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-physical support such as CDs, cassette tapes, or vinyl records has declined in popularity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
fan of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
collectors despite the demands from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
fans. As the consequence, I prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
streaming
to listening to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-copy materials for the following two reasons.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
streaming
could share the income to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
directly
, supporting him/her/their
in the same way
as purchasing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-copy ones.
That is
, anytime I listen to my favorite song from my top
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
(
especially
albums of Taylor Swift’s Lover to Red in “Taylor’s Version”), the passive income would
be shared
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
and producers. Since the income from this way
is regarded
as essential for having the encouragement to produce the future works along concert tour or official merchandise.
Besides
, a number of streams in each song could enter the chart
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like the standard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
chart such as Billboard Hot 100 or UK Single Charts.
In addition
, it could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
piracy from the last decade according to the right choice for the new generation with the second reason.

Secondly
, the expense is friendly for everyone to access.
That is
, there is the limitation in the Spotify normal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
(5 skips in an hour and the commercial breaks), and it would
be upgraded
for unlimited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
with a “Premium account”
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for ฿129 per month with cancellation anytime. It could
be understood
that the budget of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
streaming
service is more affordable than the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-copy ones (฿200
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
฿1, 100 per unit and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist’s
popularity), and it is appropriate for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
fans who have not budget
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“music
collector”, listing to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
online.

To summarize
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
streaming
services as it could
be considered
as the moderate choice to enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
in the present days.
That is
, you could save money and enter the various and widened dimensions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for the price of a grilled pork buffet meal.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that, the more you listen to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
legally
, the better the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
industry it would be.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Listening to the music from streaming is better than listening to the hard copy ones

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
394 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts