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Listening ScriptNarratorNow listen to a part of a talk in an economics class. ProfessorSo, let's talk about money. What is money? Well, typically people think of coins and paper "bills" as money. . . but that's using a somewhat narrow def v.1

Listening ScriptNarratorNow listen to a part of a talk in an economics class. ProfessorSo, let's talk about money. What is money? Well, typically people think of coins and paper "bills" as money. . . but that's using a somewhat narrow def v. 1
In many countries, youths are increasingly becoming obese, and their health and fitness are deteriorating. There are two possible reasons for these developments, so as suggested solutions to overcome them in this essay. I think that the leading causes of obesity and decreasing physical health are due to unhealthy consumptions and the lack of exercise. First of all, cooking with fresh ingredients is becoming less popular, so that some sorts of adverse health effect can be found in the changing eating patterns of the population. For instance, many people are opting a fast food restaurant meal or convenience food from supermarkets rather than a simple home cooked meal. In fact, these kinds of delicious-tasted instant foods, on average, contain a significantly higher amount of fat and sugar than freshly prepared meals. Consuming too much these fast foods absolutely leads to weight gain and diabetes. Secondly, a sedentary lifestyle, such as watching TV or surfing on the internet, fulfilling the laziness level of young people to avoid undertaking any kind of an exercise programme in their free time. Whereas, the metabolism rate of persons drops as they grow older in which contributes to gain weight easily no matter how little their amount of diets is. Solutions to solve this issue have to be realized at a very early age concerning the importance of a balanced diet and healthy behaviour. Both parents and the school are supposed to put a high emphasis on explaining their children, and that will be better to give several examples of how to execute these habits in everyday life. The school roles should primarily educate students about the merits of a healthy diet and the dangers of unhealthy consumption, in addition to the mandatory classes in order to teach the benefits of sufficient sports. In a similar way, parents should provide their offspring with nutritious prepared meals and restrict them from sweets and fast food, and also encourage them to take part at least in one sports club. In conclusion, the primary reasons for obesity and low levels of fitness are poor nutrition and insufficient physical exercise. The ideal solutions to tackle these grounds are for education regarding nutrition as well as recommending growing generation to participate in sports.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, youths are
increasingly
becoming obese, and their health and fitness are deteriorating. There are two possible reasons for these developments,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
as suggested solutions to overcome them in this essay.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the leading causes of obesity and decreasing physical health are due to unhealthy
Possible spelling mistake found.
consumptions
and the lack of exercise.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, cooking with fresh ingredients is becoming less popular,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sorts of adverse health effect can
be found
in the changing eating patterns of the population.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are opting a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
restaurant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
or convenience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from supermarkets
rather
than a simple home cooked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
. In fact, these kinds of delicious-tasted instant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
, on average, contain a
significantly
higher amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and sugar than
freshly
prepared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
. Consuming too much these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
absolutely
leads to weight gain and diabetes.
Secondly
, a sedentary lifestyle, such as watching TV or surfing on the internet, fulfilling the laziness level of young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to avoid undertaking any
If 'kind' is a classification term, 'an' is not necessary. Use "kind of". (The phrases 'kind of' and 'sort of' are informal if they mean 'to some extent'.)
kind of an
exercise
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
in their free time. Whereas, the metabolism rate of persons drops as they grow older in which contributes to gain weight
easily
no matter how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
their amount of diets is.

Solutions to solve this issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be realized
at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early age concerning the importance of a balanced diet and healthy
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. Both parents and the school
are supposed
to put a high emphasis on explaining their children, and that will be better to give several examples of how to execute these habits in everyday life. The school roles should
primarily
educate students about the merits of a healthy diet and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
of unhealthy consumption,
in addition
to the mandatory classes in order to teach the benefits of sufficient sports.
Consider replacing "In a similar way" with the adverb for "similar"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
In a similar way
, parents should provide their offspring with nutritious prepared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
and restrict them from sweets and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, and
also
encourage them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
at least in one sports club.

In conclusion
, the primary reasons for obesity and low levels of fitness are poor nutrition and insufficient physical exercise. The ideal solutions to tackle these grounds are for education regarding nutrition
as well
as recommending growing generation to participate in sports.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Listening ScriptNarratorNow listen to a part of a talk in an economics class. ProfessorSo, let's talk about money. What is money? Well, typically people think of coins and paper "bills" as money. . . but that's using a somewhat narrow def v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
372 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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