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listening music than listening the news

listening music than listening the news qa3aD
Listening the news on the radio is considered an old fashion entertainment by teenagers. Instead, they prefer spending their time listening to music. I strongly believe that the negative effects of listening to music exceed the positive effects. This essay will look at two of the ways that young people may be negatively affected by listening to music. On the one hand, Teenagers who are often listening to music cannot be updated about what is happening around the world. Consequently, they don’t have enough knowledge if is going to happen a natural disaster in their zone. As a result, they could be affected in those emergency moments. Suffering and accident or even risking their own life. On the second hand, Guys who are a huge fan of listening to music can miss an awful lot of benefits, like health and economic benefits. As a result, when the government alert on the radio about helps to students community they don’t get any benefits because they were distracted. In addition, they missed health opportunities because they don’t know about the new health programs that are available for them. As an instance, during the pandemic the radio has streamed places where there are free vaccines. Unfortunately, many young people has not got it. Due to they prefer being listening to music than to pay attention what really matters. To summarize, It can be seen that there are far more negative than positive effects in the trend of music listeners. Frequently, Generating lack of awareness about the world, important events, and even personal benefits. For these reason, it is my firm believe that listening to music does not has any positive effect in teenagers.
Listening the news on the radio
is considered
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
fashion entertainment by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.
Instead
, they prefer spending their time listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. I
strongly
believe that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
exceed the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects. This essay will look at two of the ways that young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may be
negatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by listening to music.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Teenagers
who are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
cannot
be updated
about what is happening around the world.
Consequently
, they don’t have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
knowledge if is going to happen a natural disaster in their zone.
As a result
, they could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
in those emergency moments. Suffering and accident or even risking their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life.

On the second hand, Guys who are a huge fan of listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can miss an awful lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
, like health and economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
.
As a result
, when the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
alert on the radio about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to students community they don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
were distracted
.
In addition
, they missed health opportunities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they don’t know about the new health programs that are available for them. As an instance, during the pandemic the radio has streamed places where there are free vaccines. Unfortunately,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
it. Due to they prefer being listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
than to pay attention what
really
matters.

To summarize
, It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that there are far more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects in the trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
listeners.
Frequently
, Generating lack of awareness about the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, and even personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
. For these reason, it is my firm believe that listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
does not
The verb 'does' requires base form of the verb: "have"
has
any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.
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IELTS essay listening music than listening the news

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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