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Many people associate money with happiness and think that the more money one has the happier they should be.

Many people associate money with happiness and think that the more money one has the happier they should be. 86XGr
It is undeniable that the money olays a crucial role to live the luxury life. Most of masses associate finance with glad and thought that more money one has the happier they should be. I agree with this notion and articulate it in forthcoming crumbs. To initialise, there are gazillions of reasons that associate more expenditure citizens should be more happier: meet basic necessities, expand business and secure future with life insurance policies. Firstly, every native in cutting edge era needs money for their basic needs without finance they considering their life as hell. So, having expenditure they should get the basic necessities such as clothes, food and house which makes them happy. Moreover, everyone needs the money to promote their companies as well as expand it national to international level. Since, with assistance of finance they run their business without confronting hurdles and increase trade. Furthermore, citizens should spent their money in life insurance scheme. If, they doing it there future will be secure they should not facing any troubles dealing in oldage which makes their life happier and stress free. However, having great amount of finance also leads to psychological problems while everytime they get phobic and afraid about the robbety and fear someone cheat with them. As, they would not give time to their kith and kins due to emotional feelings. As an evidence, research conducted by chandigarh university students reported that denizers owing great sake of money suffered from psychological problems as compared to average person the ratio accounted as 50%and 20%. To concluse, owing great finance should act as fruitful to dwellers because it will meet their basic needs, promote business and make their future secure with life insurance scheme.
It is undeniable that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
Possible spelling mistake found.
olays
a crucial role to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
the luxury
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
After 'Most of', you should use 'the' ("Most of the masses") or simply say "Most masses".
Most of masses
associate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
finance
with glad and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
one has the happier they should be. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion and articulate it in forthcoming crumbs.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'initialise' is British English.
initialise
, there are gazillions of reasons that associate more expenditure citizens should be
Use only "happier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more happier
:
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
, expand business and secure future with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
insurance policies.
Firstly
, every native in cutting edge era
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
finance
Did you mean "they're considering", "they are considering", or "they were considering"?
they considering
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as hell.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, having expenditure they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
such as clothes, food and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them happy.
Moreover
, everyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to promote their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
as well
as expand it national to international level. Since, with assistance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
finance
they run their business without confronting hurdles and increase trade.
Furthermore
, citizens should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "spend"
spent
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
insurance scheme. If, they doing it there future will be secure they should not
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "face"
facing
any troubles dealing in
Possible spelling mistake found.
oldage
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
happier and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
free.

However
, having great amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
finance
also
leads to psychological problems while
Possible spelling mistake found.
everytime
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
phobic and afraid about the
Possible spelling mistake found.
robbety
and fear someone
The pronoun 'someone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "cheats", "cheated".
cheat
with them. As, they would not give time to their kith and
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "kin", the plural form of the noun 'kin'?
kins
due to emotional feelings. As an evidence, research conducted by
Possible spelling mistake found.
chandigarh
university students reported that
Possible spelling mistake found.
denizers
owing great sake of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
suffered from psychological problems as compared to average person the ratio accounted as 50%and 20%.

To
Possible spelling mistake found.
concluse
, owing great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
finance
should act as fruitful to dwellers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
, promote business and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their future secure with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
insurance scheme.
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IELTS essay Many people associate money with happiness and think that the more money one has the happier they should be.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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