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Travel on kilometers per year and minutes per day in Europe

Travel on kilometers per year and minutes per day in Europe q1VaP
I am going to describe three charts that give information about road transport in Denmark, France, Italy, United Kingdom, Germany, Spain, and Europe average. Generally speaking, Denmark is the only country that has constant high scores on all the charts. The first chart analyses travel per person by car, the second one talks about travel per person by bus, metro, train, and bike, and the third one shows information about time taken on all modes in general. On the first chart, the highest value is in Denmark, but in general, we can see that all values are really similar, being all in a range between 8000 km and a little bit more than 12000 km per year. In the second chart, the highest value is again Denmark showing 3000 km per year. Unlike the first chart, the second chart shows more different values, on this chart Denmark has a really high value compared to the other countries, but all the other countries have really similar values rounding between 1700 and 900 km per year. Finally, on the third chart, we can observe that the highest value is for the UK, having a rate of around 57 minutes per day, although it is really close to second place gained by Germany, having around 56 minutes per day. The other countries in the chart are really different, but they divide into little groups, Denmark has a really similar value to France, Spain has a really similar value to the EU average, and Italy doesn’t have similar values with any other country by being the smallest value on the table, having around 21 minutes per day.
I am going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
three
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charts
that give information about road transport in Denmark, France, Italy, United Kingdom, Germany, Spain, and Europe average.
Generally
speaking, Denmark is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
that has constant high scores on all the charts.

The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
analyses travel per person by car, the second one talks about travel per person by bus, metro, train, and bike, and the third one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
information about time taken on all modes
in general
.

On the
first
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chart
, the highest
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value
is in Denmark,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in general
, we can
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see
that all values are
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really
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similar
, being all in a range between 8000 km and a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
more than 12000 km per year.

In the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
, the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
is again Denmark showing 3000 km per year. Unlike the
first
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chart
, the second
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chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
values, on this
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chart
Denmark has a
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really
high
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value
compared to the
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other
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countries
,
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but
all the
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other
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countries
have
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really
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
similar
values rounding between 1700 and 900 km per year.

Finally
, on the third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
, we can observe that the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
is for the UK, having a rate of around 57 minutes per day, although it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
close to second place gained by Germany, having around 56 minutes per day. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
are
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really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
,
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but
they divide into
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little
groups, Denmark has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
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similar
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value
to France, Spain has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
really
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
similar
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value
to the EU average, and Italy doesn’t have
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similar
values with any
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other
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country
by being the smallest
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value
on the table, having around 21 minutes per day.
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IELTS essay Travel on kilometers per year and minutes per day in Europe

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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