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Life expentancy is increasing what problems will this cause for individuals and society

Life expentancy is increasing what problems will this cause for individuals and society pbpYD
It is undeniable that the increase in life expectancy is a source of concern for developed countries. This essay will look at some primary causes of these problems and offer some possible solutions for governments that could be taken to tackle the problem mentioned above Some reasons that led to the aging of the baby boomer generation the main reason is that the number of infants was declined by family planning and population control policy. Another important reason contributing to this issue is the proportion of younger, work adults will be smaller, a fall in productivity and growth and governments will therefore receive less money in taxes with the size of the population. Further pressure is placed an increasing burden on health care and social services In my view, one good approach for governments to implement to mitigate the problems described Above Firstly, a simple solution is to increase the retirement age from 65-70. Nowadays, people of this age tend to be healthy enough to continue a productive working life. Secondly, politicians should be encouraging the immigration of young working adults. Finally, money from national budgets will need to be taken from other areas and spent on vital healthcare, accommodation, and transport facilities for the rising numbers of older citizens. In conclusion, while there are evident reasons bring about this phenomenon I believe that great efforts from governments are necessary to reverse the trend
It is undeniable that the increase in life expectancy is a source of concern for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
. This essay will look at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
primary causes of these problems and offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible solutions for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
that could
be taken
to tackle the problem mentioned above

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
that led to the aging of the baby boomer generation the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that the number of infants
was declined
by family planning and population control policy. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
contributing to this issue is the proportion of younger, work adults will be smaller, a fall in productivity and growth and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
will
therefore
receive less money in taxes with the size of the population.
Further
pressure
is placed
an increasing burden on health care and social services

In my view, one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
approach for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
to implement to mitigate the problems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
Above

Firstly
, a simple solution is to increase the retirement age from 65-70. Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of this age tend to be healthy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to continue a productive working life.
Secondly
, politicians should be encouraging the immigration of young working adults.
Finally
, money from national budgets will need to
be taken
from other areas and spent on vital healthcare, accommodation, and transport facilities for the rising numbers of older citizens.

In conclusion
, while there are evident
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
bring about this phenomenon I believe that great efforts from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are necessary to reverse the trend

IELTS essay Life expentancy is increasing what problems will this cause for individuals and society

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
233 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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