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Life cyles of honey bee, part 1

Life cyles of honey bee, part 1 k5A7R
The description illustrates the honey bee's wheel of life. The life cycle of the honey bee begins when the queen bee lays an egg; the queen lay 1 or 2 eggs every three days. From spring to summer, they can lay approximately two thousand eggs. Honey bees develop in four life cycle phases: egg, larva, pupa, and adult. We can see that the life cycle lasts between 34 and 36 days. Eggs hatch after 9-10 days become larva. They keep growing in size and shed their skin 3 times as it grows. The first time is 5 days after the egg hatches, then day 7 and one more time on day 9. The total pupa development time varies a bit among the three castes of bees, 24 days for drones, 21 days for worker bees, and 16 days for queens. After a total of 30 to 31 days from the start of the cycle, the young adult honey bee emerges from its final moulting stage, and it takes only 4 days more to reach maturity.
The description illustrates the honey bee's wheel of
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life
. The
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life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cycle
of the honey bee
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
when the queen bee lays an egg; the queen lay 1 or 2 eggs every three days. From spring to summer, they can lay approximately two thousand eggs. Honey bees develop in four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cycle
phases: egg, larva, pupa, and adult. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cycle
lasts between 34 and 36 days. Eggs hatch after 9-10 days become larva. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
growing in size and shed their skin 3
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times
as it grows. The
first
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time
is 5 days after the egg hatches, then day 7 and one more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on day 9. The total pupa development
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
varies a bit among the three castes of bees, 24 days for drones, 21 days for worker bees, and 16 days for queens. After a total of 30 to 31 days from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of the
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cycle
, the young adult honey bee emerges from its final
Possible spelling mistake found.
moulting
stage, and it takes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
4 days more to reach maturity.
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IELTS essay Life cyles of honey bee, part 1

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
175 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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