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Some people think that employees should have extra time for doing exercise. Advantages and disadvantages

Some people think that employees should have extra time for doing exercise. Advantages and disadvantages m2kRK
Many people think that employees should have extra time for doing exercises. Nowadays there are advantages and disadvantages for this topic. And there will be discusing about that. Firstly doing exercises helps employees to reduce their stress and anxiety at work. This is a positive approach to relief their worries or emotions when they face issues in their duty, which also improves their productivity. Sometimes it is possible that employees may find out the solution when they are doing sports. Additionally, if employees are allowed to utilize flexible hours to do sports, it shows their employers care about their well-being. however, some people disagree with that opinion. They think that exercises can waste time and if people attend to their health, they should move or exercise in out of the work. They believe the product of the companies are more important than health participants or qualify the product. The best way is employees exercise in out of the work and just working the day. To sum up, i would like to say that provide an exercises time at work is a waste of time cause of in an office people should work effectively and do nothing about phisical exercises.
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Many
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people
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think
that
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employees
should have extra
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time
for doing
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exercises
. Nowadays there are advantages and disadvantages for this topic. And there will be
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discusing
about that.
Firstly
doing
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exercises
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helps
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employees
to
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reduce
their
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stress
and anxiety at
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work
. This is a
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positive
approach to relief their worries or emotions when they face issues in their duty, which
also
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improves
their productivity.
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Sometimes
it is possible that
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employees
may find out the solution when they are doing sports.
Additionally
, if
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employees
are
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allowed
to utilize flexible hours to do sports, it
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shows
their employers care about their well-being.
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however
,
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some
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people
disagree with that opinion. They
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think
that
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exercises
can waste
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time
and if
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people
attend to their health, they should
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move
or
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exercise
in out of the
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work
. They believe the product of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than health participants or qualify the product. The best way is
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employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
in out of the
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work
and
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just
working the day. To sum up,
Did you mean "I"?
i
would like to say that provide an
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exercises
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time
at
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work
is a waste of
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time
cause of in an office
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people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
effectively
and do nothing about
Possible spelling mistake found.
phisical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that employees should have extra time for doing exercise. Advantages and disadvantages

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
199 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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