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Levels of depression and anti­social behavior in children have increased dramatically in modern societies. This situation has led many people to believe that childhood itself is in crisis. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Levels of depression and anti­social behavior in children have increased dramatically in modern societies. This situation has led many people to believe that childhood itself is in crisis. with this view? PXXnX
It is considered that in the current world, the amount of sorrow and introversion among children has greatly increased, and therefore the majority of people consider the beginning of the adolescent crisis. I completely disagree with this remark, because today's youth have many possibilities to communicate and have no need to be depressed because of the abundance of things they may be given. To begin with, today's paradigm change might be to blame for juvenile misbehavior. For example, if both parents of a family are working, the children are left alone and unsupervised. This is the primary explanation behind increasing children's antisocial behavior. They grow hooked to smoking, drinking, drugs, and other such behaviors. Finally, they joined an antisocial social environment, becoming a burden to themselves, their parents, and the whole community. This is a concerning scenario in today's world. However, it is only half of the story. It must be agreed that the current condition of young people going astray is quite concerning. But I continue to feel that there are several possibilities to rehabilitate and make amends for the children who have been harmed. Parents are currently making modest adjustments in their children's education, understanding how to instill love and joy in their children's lives. As a result, children will grow up in a much better environment than before, then they will go in the right way. To summarize, there is nothing to be scared of, notwithstanding the odd poor mood and closed at first sight behavior. In my opinion, today's youngsters have every opportunity to live happily and enjoy their life.
It
is considered
that in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
world, the amount of sorrow and introversion among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
has
greatly
increased, and
therefore
the majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider the beginning of the adolescent crisis. I completely disagree with this remark,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today's
youth have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
possibilities to communicate and have no need to
be depressed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the abundance of things they may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today's
paradigm
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
might be to blame for juvenile misbehavior.
For example
, if both parents of a family are working, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
alone and unsupervised. This is the primary explanation behind increasing children's antisocial behavior. They grow hooked to smoking, drinking, drugs, and other such behaviors.
Finally
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
an antisocial social environment, becoming a burden to themselves, their parents, and the whole community. This is a concerning scenario in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today's
world.

However
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
half of the story. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
condition of young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
going astray
The verb 'concerning' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
is quite concerning
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I continue to feel that there are several possibilities to rehabilitate and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
amends for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who have
been harmed
. Parents are
currently
making modest adjustments in their children's education, understanding how to instill
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and joy in their children's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will grow up in a much better environment than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, then they will go in the right way.

To summarize
, there is nothing to
be scared
of, notwithstanding the odd poor mood and closed at
first
sight behavior. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today's
youngsters have every opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
happily
and enjoy their life.
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IELTS essay Levels of depression and anti­social behavior in children have increased dramatically in modern societies. This situation has led many people to believe that childhood itself is in crisis. with this view?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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