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In some countries the avarage weight of people is increasing.what do you think are the causes of these problems and measures could be taken to solve them.

In some countries the avarage weight of people is increasing. what do you think are the causes of these problems and measures could be taken to solve them. neeDo
In last decades obesity has become one of the outstanding problems in some countries especially in developed and developing ones moreover the fact that vast majority of people do not have healthy body. As we know 21 centuries are modernized phase and because of advancements in technology people's activities are so limited. It is obviously clear that the technology donates us some benefits like avabiality of working with internet at home or utilizing vacuum cleaners and dish washers which cause people to become so lazy. Consecuently the lack of physical movements leads to excess weight. In addition one of the main cause is poor diet. Over last decades there has been profilic increase in the number of fast food restaurants. Numerous people are prone to eat ready made meals which are quick and easy option because of their work. More detailed studies show that there are several solutions to solve this type of problems. Doctors believe that exercise is one of the best solution to decreasing obesity. Futhermore eating healthy foods namely nutritional meals enable us to avoid obesity and correct life style. To conclude, I believe that the more we eat fresh and nutrition foods or do regular exercise the more healthier body we have as well as better life.
In last
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "decades'" or "decade's"?
decades
obesity has become one of the outstanding problems in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries
especially
in developed and developing ones
moreover
the fact that vast majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not have healthy body. As we know 21 centuries
are modernized
phase and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of advancements in technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's activities are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
limited. It is
obviously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the technology donates us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits like
Possible spelling mistake found.
avabiality
of working with internet at home or utilizing vacuum cleaners and dish washers which cause
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
lazy.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Consecuently
the lack of physical movements leads to excess weight. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
one of the main cause is poor diet. Over last decades there has been
Possible spelling mistake found.
profilic
increase in the number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food restaurants. Numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are prone to eat
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ready made
meals which are quick and easy option
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their work. More detailed studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that there are several solutions to solve this type of problems. Doctors believe that exercise is one of the best solution to decreasing obesity.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Futhermore
eating healthy foods
namely
nutritional meals enable us to avoid obesity and correct life style.
To conclude
, I believe that the more we eat fresh and nutrition foods or do regular exercise the
Use only "healthier" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more healthier
body we have
as well
as better life.
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IELTS essay In some countries the avarage weight of people is increasing. what do you think are the causes of these problems and measures could be taken to solve them.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
211 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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