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Less young generation to play classical music

Less young generation to play classical music BgQ36
All music nowadays is made the classical music as a reference for its development, and the number of young people who play classical music around the world tends to decrease. Several factors become the main reason behind young people lose their interest in playing classical music. The first reason is its complexity. The music arrangement was made for a music player who had a high capability to play a musical instrument, either it played as a team or in a group. Therefore the young people who are commonly beginner players will face an obstacle when they start to play classical music. The second reason is music's trend. Popular music genre, even the simple one, these days had a massive promotion scheme, and it makes the young generation for a targeted market. No doubt they become more familiar with those kinds of music instead of classical music. Parents also have their contribution for the unfamiliarity of the young generation to classical music. They are not introducing classical music and let the let music industries take over. Nevertheless, this condition should not continue. The young generation must recognize and be able to play classical music to keep the heritage of our ancestors. It might be difficult for them to starting it. The contributions of related parties are needed, especially to introduce and encourage the young generations to save that heritage and even to blockade the onslaught of music industries. The school education syllabus also needs to revise to support the introduction of classical music programs. In conclusion, the necessity of introducing classical music to the younger generation is necessary. Otherwise, the existence of classical music will be fade out over time.
All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
nowadays
is made
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
as a reference for its development, and the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
around the world tends to decrease.

Several factors become the main reason behind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
lose their interest in playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. The
first
reason is its complexity. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
arrangement
was made
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
player who had a high capability to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
a musical instrument, either it played as a team or in a group.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are
commonly
beginner players will face an obstacle when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
music.

The second reason is music's trend. Popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
genre, even the simple one, these days had a massive promotion scheme, and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation for a targeted market. No doubt they become more familiar with those kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. Parents
also
have their contribution for the unfamiliarity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. They are not introducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
industries take over.

Nevertheless
, this condition should not continue. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
recognize and be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the heritage of our ancestors. It might be difficult for them to starting it. The contributions of related parties
are needed
,
especially
to introduce and encourage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generations to save that heritage and even to blockade the onslaught of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
industries. The school education syllabus
also
needs to revise to support the introduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
programs.

In conclusion
, the necessity of introducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
to the younger generation is necessary.
Otherwise
, the existence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
will be fade out over time.
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IELTS essay Less young generation to play classical music

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
279 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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