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Lesiure advantage and disadvantage

Lesiure advantage and disadvantage GldOx
This is currently contentious argument over wether should be carry out several activities in free time. On the other hand, some people believed that mind required a rest in spare time. In my opinion, playing games in free time is better than to relax the mind. Firstly, numerous people reflect that should take part in games. For example cricket, football, hockey, volleyball and puzzles etc. It will boost our minds. In other words, playing games will active our mind. We feel active, fresh, healthy and wealthy. Our minds works fast. So, we are able to solve our problems in less time. Secondly, some people think that relaxation is necessary for min. If a person is not taking any kind of rest. They unable to do their duty. Furthermore, a person need to lay hold of rest. In conclusion, it is not appropraite to take an rest in lesiure. The reason is that it is harmful for health. it makes the person lazy.
This is
currently
contentious argument over
wether
should be carry out several activities in free time.
On the other hand
,
some
people
believed that
mind
required a rest in spare time. In my opinion, playing games in free time is better than to relax the mind.

Firstly
, numerous
people
reflect that should
take part
in games.
For example
cricket, football, hockey, volleyball and puzzles etc. It will boost our
minds
.
In other words
, playing games will active our
mind
. We feel active, fresh, healthy and wealthy. Our
minds
works
fast
.
So
, we are able to solve our problems in less time.

Secondly
,
some
people
think
that relaxation is necessary for min. If a person is not taking any kind of rest.
They
unable to do their duty.
Furthermore
, a person need to lay hold of rest.

In conclusion
, it is not
appropraite
to take
an
rest in
lesiure
. The reason is that it is harmful for health.
it
makes
the person lazy.
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IELTS essay Lesiure advantage and disadvantage

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
162 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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