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Some believe that taking care of children should be dedicated to grand parents.

Some believe that taking care of children should be dedicated to grand parents. 8gMDV
These days, some people advocate that taking care of the children should be dedicated to grandparents while others opine that childcare centers are the best areas. I agree with the second opinion and I will elucidate my viewpoint with following arguments. One nuance that should be taken into consideration is the fact that, on the one hand, grand parents should be on the top of list mainly because they are experienced in raising children. Therefore, they behave with them like their own children. Another reason may be that economic costs are so high so letting them go to the kindergarten isn't a preferable way for mananging their money. Last but not least, their security of children are better promoted at homes of their grandparents. On the other hand, a number of people think that childcare centers are the best. Firstly, babysitters are educated and study for years in this field. For example if child falls down, they know how to make her calm and cure ulcerated arms and legs. Secondly, in order to improve children communication skills, thay have to play with others and learn life skills. For example if one child is shy he can over his fear, when he goes to kindergarten and be in crowded place with other children. In conclusion both of them have some benefits but nursery school have significant effects on children.
These days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
advocate that taking care of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be dedicated
to grandparents while others opine that childcare centers are the best areas. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the second opinion and I will elucidate my viewpoint with following arguments.

One nuance that should
be taken
into consideration is the fact that, on the one hand, grand parents should be on the top of list
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are experienced
in raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Therefore
, they behave with them like their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Another reason may be that economic costs are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
high
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
letting them go to the kindergarten isn't a preferable way for
Possible spelling mistake found.
mananging
their money. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, their security of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are better promoted at homes of their grandparents.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, a number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that childcare centers are the best.
Firstly
, babysitters
are educated
and study for years in this field.
For example
if child falls down, they know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
her calm and cure ulcerated arms and legs.
Secondly
, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
thay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
play with others and learn life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For example
if one child is shy he can over his fear, when he goes to kindergarten and be in crowded place with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
children.

In conclusion
both of them have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nursery school have significant effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
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IELTS essay Some believe that taking care of children should be dedicated to grand parents.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
228 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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