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Learning about the past has no value for those living in the present. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

Learning about the past has no value for those living in the present. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
Nowadays, the importance of personal information can be denied by nobody. Naturally, many people consider about gathering detailed job applicants’ data during the employment process by employers and argue there are no essence for such private details, but others say these additional knowledge may be useful. Personally, I approve detailed interviews with specific conditions, as we will discuss in this essay. On one hand, when hiring decision makers have fed with more and accurate data, they make better choices without no doubt. Many individuals say by this way we can markedly increase the chance of permanent and deliberate work relationship. Actually, they logically defend their ideas and declare if long-term and stable career is the goal for companies and workers, it cannot be achieved unless with accurate and complete data survey and eventually, as a result we can expect to save invaluable time and money for corporations and employees. On the other hand, many people worry about variety of these information and disagree with unlimited questions border because of reasonable reasons. Fundamentally, these individuals tell this method of interviews is disrespectful to applicants and everybody must care about privacy zone of humankind in every situation. Also, they argue that it may lead to different kinds of abuse in the work environment. Eventually, many people feel more comfort and safety with limited and predefined questions in career interviews. To conclude, in the way of my thinking with an optimistic attitude, although, when it comes to data collection, it seems that is certainly useful, especially for those who expertise in the human resources field, undoubtedly protecting job seekers’ data is vital and companies should be penalized in case of data leakage.
Nowadays, the importance of personal information can
be denied
by nobody.
Naturally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Did you mean simply "consider gathering"? You do not need the word "about" here.
consider about gathering
detailed job applicants’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
during the employment process by employers and argue there are no essence for such private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others say these additional knowledge may be useful.
Personally
, I approve detailed interviews with specific conditions, as we will discuss in this essay.

On one hand, when hiring decision makers have fed with more and accurate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
better choices without no doubt.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individuals say by this way we can
markedly
increase the chance of permanent and deliberate work relationship. Actually, they
logically
defend their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and declare if long-term and stable career is the goal for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and workers, it cannot
be achieved
unless with accurate and complete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
survey and
eventually
,
as a result
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
to save invaluable time and money for corporations and employees.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
worry about variety of
Did you mean "this information" or "these informations"?
these information
and disagree with unlimited questions border
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of reasonable reasons.
Fundamentally
, these individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
this method of interviews is disrespectful to applicants and everybody
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
care about privacy zone of humankind in every situation.
Also
, they argue that it may lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of abuse in the work environment.
Eventually
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel more comfort and safety with limited and predefined questions in career interviews.

To conclude
, in the way of my thinking with an optimistic attitude, although, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
collection, it seems
that is
certainly
useful,
especially
for those who expertise in the human resources field,
undoubtedly
protecting job seekers’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
is vital and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
should
be penalized
in case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
leakage.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Learning about the past has no value for those living in the present. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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