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Learning a foreign language offers an insight into how people from other cultures think and see the world. The teaching of a foreign language should be compulsory at all primary schools. v.2

Learning a foreign language offers an insight into how people from other cultures think and see the world. The teaching of a foreign language should be compulsory at all primary schools. v. 2
To be very honest, being a bilingual has an enormous positive impact on individual personality & confidence. As it gives you more and more global view of different cultures, at the same time one can relate things better in various geographies. On contrary to this, learning multiple languages, may not provide the relevant cultural aspect of the nation. For instance, I had learned English as a language subject in my school, apart from my native language "Hindi". In a broader aspect, it doesn't help me understand British culture at all and their mindset for others. However, to gain the cultural aspect, one should study their history & given a chance, live in the country to undergo their society thought process & thinking for others. To support this view, one may assume that, if you learn any language different from your native one, you knowingly/unknowingly go through the history and society needs of that country to make your learning of language easy to remember. At the same time, the thought of making is mandatory for everyone to learn one additional language is certainly a curriculum based need. It will definitely boost the analytical skills of students, as they think & learn in both languages. The best part is learning any other language, which is being widely used globally by people, will help you to work & live in the most part of the world. Like, I had learned English in my school & I can work & live in the most part of the world. To conclude, knowing multiple languages is an addition to your personality & work profile, but it does not give much insight of others society and viewpoint unless one study their history or live there for some time.
To be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
honest, being a bilingual has an enormous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on individual personality & confidence. As it gives you more and more global view of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures, at the same time one can relate things better in various geographies.

On contrary to this, learning multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
, may not provide the relevant cultural aspect of the nation.
For instance
, I had learned English as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
subject in my school, apart from my native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Hindi
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. In a broader aspect, it doesn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me understand British culture at all and their mindset for others.

However
, to gain the cultural aspect, one should study their history &
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a chance,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the country to undergo their society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
process & thinking for others.

To support this view, one may assume that, if you learn any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from your native one, you
knowingly
/
unknowingly
go through the history and society needs of that country to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
your learning of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
easy to remember.

At the same time, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of making is mandatory for everyone to learn one additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is
certainly
a curriculum based need. It will definitely boost the analytical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of students, as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
& learn in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
. The best part is learning any other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, which is being
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
globally by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you to work &
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the most part of the world. Like, I had learned English in my school & I can work &
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the most part of the world.

To conclude
, knowing multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
is an addition to your personality & work profile,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it does not give much insight of others society and viewpoint unless one study their history or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
there for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Learning a foreign language offers an insight into how people from other cultures think and see the world. The teaching of a foreign language should be compulsory at all primary schools. v. 2

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
291 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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