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learn new language at primary than secondary school

learn new language at primary than secondary school LLl66
Some people may say that elementary school children begin to turn their attention to learn a new language different from mother tonguage language while some opinion that learning a foreign when they are getting ready for junior school. On the one hand, learning another language at primary age is that develop creative thinking of them, in fact, the researcher proved that the children between 4-9 ages are better than other children at learning pronunciation, vocabulary, and rhythm of the language, they will also achieve higher levels of proficiency at the start to the junior school education, for instance, if they begin with learn English early, they can use and understand the content of bilingual that easier obtain a scholarship from overseas when they increase their education level because they had to knowledge and fluency in English, expand opportunity better job with a higher salary in abroad firm than those who had not. On the other hand, I believe that learn a new language early in the life can make children more tolerant of multicultural societies, in my opion, there are obvious disadvantage to learning a foreign language is confusing and waste time which could delay the development of children's first language and one major drawback of teaching a foreign language is that children can not spend time study other subjects which are more important at that age such as maths, science, history, literature, and influence on build foundation knowledge. As result, they would lose the ability to study natural and social subject lead to difficulty to choose their major in the future. In conclusion studying a new language might play a role in the future when children are in primary age and educating them to be multilingual from an early promotes better language skills, improve the development of IQ. But parents need to control children's study to create a balance between language learning and compulsory school subject.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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people
may say that elementary school
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children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to turn their attention to learn a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from mother
Possible spelling mistake found.
tonguage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a foreign when they are getting ready for junior school.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
at primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is that develop creative thinking of them, in fact, the researcher proved that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
between 4-9
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
are better than other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
pronunciation, vocabulary, and rhythm of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, they will
also
achieve higher levels of proficiency at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to the junior school education,
for instance
, if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with learn English early, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and understand the content of bilingual that easier obtain a scholarship from overseas when they increase their education level
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they had to knowledge and fluency in English, expand opportunity better job with a higher salary in abroad firm than those who had not.

On the other hand
, I believe that learn a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
early in the life can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
more tolerant of multicultural societies, in my
Possible spelling mistake found.
opion
, there are obvious disadvantage to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is confusing and waste time which could delay the development of children's
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and one major drawback of teaching a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can not spend time study other subjects which are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
at that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
such as
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
, science, history, literature, and influence on build foundation knowledge. As result, they would lose the ability to study natural and social subject lead to difficulty to choose their major in the future.

In conclusion
studying a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
might play a role in the future when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are in primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
and educating them to be multilingual from
Probably a noun is missing in this part of the sentence.
an early
promotes better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the development of IQ.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
parents need to control children's study to create a balance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
and compulsory school subject.
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IELTS essay learn new language at primary than secondary school

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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