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Last decade in whole world lots of people have health problem because they don't have any physical exercises during their work day.

Last decade in whole world lots of people have health problem because they don't have any physical exercises during their work day. 53WPV
Last decade in whole world lots of people have health problem because they don't have any physical exercises during their work day. In this essay I will talk about this problem and provide example from my own experience. Since computer or IT technologies growing up much more people have been involved in this type of work. For achieving the best results they're sitting in their armchair whole day as a result they're getting health problem such as with their back, arms or legs. Even their free time only small percent do some exercises such as running, swimming in the pool, play football with friends or another activities. I aware about this problem because I have the same problem. I worked as a manager in trade company. Usually my working day started at 9 am and finished at 5 pm, 5 days per week. I had one coffee break and one break for lunch. All this time I didn't do any exercises even when I have free time. After 8 years I started feel worse than before and once when I woke up I felt high hurt on my back. This is start happen so often and I realized that the main problem in my poor activities. After this I started go to swimming pool and do some exercises during my work and in free time. After few months I started feel much better and I try to improve my physical activities every year. I absolutely sure that this problem has a world meaning. So people should spend much more time about their own health and explain to each other. Especially famous people can talk about it their website because they have a huge value of subscribers.
Last decade in whole world lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they don't have any physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
during their work day. In this essay I will talk about this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
and provide example from my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience. Since computer or IT technologies growing up much more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
been involved
in this type of work. For achieving the best results they're sitting in their armchair whole day
as a result
they're getting health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
such as with their back, arms or legs. Even their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
percent do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
such as running, swimming in the pool, play football with friends or another activities. I aware about this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I have the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. I worked as a manager in trade
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
Usually
my working day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
started
at 9 am and finished at 5 pm, 5 days per week. I had one coffee break and one break for lunch. All this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
I didn't do any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
even when I have free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. After 8 years I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
started
feel worse than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and once when I woke up I felt high hurt on my back. This is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
happen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
and I realized that the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
in my poor activities. After this I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
started
go to swimming pool and do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
during my work and in free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. After few months I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
started
feel much better and I try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
my physical activities every year. I
absolutely
sure that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
has a world meaning.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should spend much more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
health and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
to each other.
Especially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can talk about it their website
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have a huge value of subscribers.
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IELTS essay Last decade in whole world lots of people have health problem because they don't have any physical exercises during their work day.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
286 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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