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Lack of communication and closeness between family members is a vitally important issue in many societies today. In this essay, I will firstly discuss the causes of this problem and then offer some possible solutions to it.

Lack of communication and closeness between family members is a vitally important issue in many societies today. In this essay, I will firstly discuss the causes of this problem and then offer some possible solutions to it. 3WEbJ
Lack of communication and closeness between family members is a vitally important issue in many societies today. In this essay, I will firstly discuss the causes of this problem and then offer some possible solutions to it. In my view, the primary cause of this problem is the modern lifestyle. Most parents today work much harder than ever before. In the past, one parent – usually the mother – stayed at home to take care of the children. In recents times, however, it has become increasingly common for both parents to work. As a result, more and more children now grow up with neither parent at home. It is unsurprising, then, that families are no longer as close as they once were. One other factor adding to this problem is that people today spend too much time on solitary activities like watching television. In order to overcome this problem and make families closer, peoples’ lifestyle must change. I feel more parents should stay at home and take care their children. Perhaps governments could subsidise parents who choose to look after their families rather than working. Of course, these subsidise would probably not fully cover the income a family would reduce the financial pain of surviving on one income and afford to do so. Another positive step would be to promote active pastimes through public education programmes. To conclude, while it is improbable that any solution will be found in the near future, I feel that the above mentioned measures would be a good first step.
Lack of communication and closeness between
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family
members is a
vitally
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important
issue in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
societies
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today
. In this essay, I will
firstly
discuss the causes of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
and then offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible solutions to it. In my view, the primary cause of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is the modern lifestyle. Most

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
work much harder than ever
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before
. In the past, one
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parent
–

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usually
the mother
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
stayed at home to take care of the children. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
recents


times,
however
, it has become
increasingly
common for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
to


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
work
.
As a result
, more and more children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
grow up with neither
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
parent


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
at
home. It is unsurprising, then, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are no longer as close as they once were. One other factor adding to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
spend too much time on solitary activities like watching television. In order to overcome this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
closer, peoples’ lifestyle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. I feel more
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parents
should stay at home and take care their children. Perhaps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
could
Possible spelling mistake. 'subsidise' is British English.
subsidise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who choose to look after their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
rather
than working.
Of course
, these
Possible spelling mistake. 'subsidise' is British English.
subsidise
would
probably
not
fully
cover the income a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the financial pain of surviving on one income and afford to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
step would be to promote active pastimes through public education
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
.

To conclude
, while it is improbable that any solution will
be found
in the near future, I feel that the above mentioned measures would be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
first
step.
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IELTS essay Lack of communication and closeness between family members is a vitally important issue in many societies today. In this essay, I will firstly discuss the causes of this problem and then offer some possible solutions to it.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
255 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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