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Kindly evaluate and share your suggestion for improvement. New stories on TV and newspaper are very often accompanied by pictures. Some people say that these pictures are more effective than words. What is your opinion about this? v.1

Kindly evaluate and share your suggestion for improvement. New stories on TV and newspaper are very often accompanied by pictures. Some people say that these pictures are more effective than words. What is your opinion about this? v. 1
With the advanced technology and because of various new gadgets nowadays it is far easier to have a photograph of a certain incident or place. As a result, more and more articles in newspapers, as well as stories on TV, were attached with pictures which play a significant part to understand the complete perspective of the underline event. In my opinion, although visual graphics play a vital role, however, we can not underestimate the power of words. Surely pictures make a better understanding of a certain story. They did not help to visualize, but also inform those facts which can not be explained through words. Additionally, photographs show a certain part in a precise manner. For Example, a story that shares information about an accident of two vehicles might tell you about the number injuries and the way how the accident happened but only through visual effects, one can get to know about the damage done to both vehicles and severity of the accident. So, therefore, the importance of pictures is undeniable. However, words have their own place as far as news is concerned. Pictures do share noticeable information for a certain moment, however, a complete story can only be informed through words. For instance, a picture cannot answer the following: How the accident happened? What happened after it? What remedies taken by the government to reduce such accidents? Therefore, a plethora of questions remain to answer and for that word provide understanding from beginning to end about a complete story. To conclude, visuals surely have helped to present a broader view similarly importance of words lies in its own manner. All in all, both pictures and words play an imperative role to understand a certain situation.
With the advanced technology and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of various new gadgets nowadays it is far easier to have a photograph of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
incident or place.
As a result
, more and more articles in newspapers,
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stories
on TV,
were attached
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
which play a significant part to understand the complete perspective of the underline
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
. In my opinion, although visual graphics play a vital role,
however
, we can not underestimate the power of words.

Surely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a better understanding of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
. They did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to visualize,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
inform those facts which can not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
through words.
Additionally
, photographs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
part
Consider replacing "in a precise manner" with the adverb for "precise"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a precise manner
.
For Example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
that shares information about an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
of two vehicles might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you about the number injuries and the way how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
happened
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
through visual effects, one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know about the damage done to both vehicles and severity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
therefore
, the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
is undeniable.

However
, words have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
place as far as news
is concerned
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Pictures
do share noticeable information for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
moment,
however
, a complete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
story
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be informed
through words.
For instance
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
picture
cannot answer the following: How the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
happened? What happened after it? What remedies taken by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
?
Therefore
, a plethora of questions remain to answer and for that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
word
provide understanding from beginning to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
about a complete story.

To conclude
, visuals
surely
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to present a broader view
similarly
importance of words lies in its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
manner. All in all, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
and words play an imperative role to understand a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
situation.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Kindly evaluate and share your suggestion for improvement. New stories on TV and newspaper are very often accompanied by pictures. Some people say that these pictures are more effective than words. What is your opinion about this? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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