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Keeping offenders under prison will make them worst. Do you Agree or disagree?

Keeping offenders under prison will make them worst. rKR8o
In the present society, it is true to the fact that crime rates have been alleviating at an alarming rate. Some people, particularly from developing countries claim that keeping offenders inside the prison would make them the worst. however, more liberal-minded people claim that. Prison is the most optimal solution to tackle such a critical issue. To embark with, there is a plethora of evidence why people think cages are not the only solution for lawbreakers. first and foremost, if any criminal gets a statement from a court of putting him behind the cage would result, a may person may indulge himself with other offenders to commit any serious crime such as murder, assault and other similar crimes. Secondly, such actions taken by the government would not deviate them from their roots. As prison would not rehabilitate criminals, it only removes them from society for a particular period. moreover, keeping them away from their loving ones would make them aggressive. As a result, all this will make them serial criminals. Hence, the judicial system of a nation should have a look at other alternatives solutions; provide free education, employment, to get over this problem.
In the present society, it is true to the fact that crime rates have been alleviating at an alarming rate.
Some
people
,
particularly
from
developing countries
claim that keeping offenders inside the prison would
make
them the worst.
however
, more liberal-minded
people
claim that. Prison is the most optimal solution to tackle such a critical issue.

To embark with, there is a plethora of evidence why
people
think
cages are not the
only
solution for lawbreakers.
first
and foremost, if any criminal
gets
a statement from a court of putting him behind the cage would result, a may person may indulge himself with other offenders to commit any serious crime such as murder, assault and other similar crimes.
Secondly
, such actions taken by the
government
would not deviate them from their roots. As prison would not rehabilitate criminals, it
only
removes them from society for a particular period.
moreover
, keeping them away from their loving ones would
make
them aggressive.
As a result
, all this will
make
them serial criminals.
Hence
, the judicial system of a nation should have a look at other alternatives solutions; provide free education, employment, to
get
over this problem.
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IELTS essay Keeping offenders under prison will make them worst.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
194 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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