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Alruism - Selfnessless or selfishness?

Alruism - Selfnessless or selfishness? wK5aE
The passage talks about the act of altruism, which is described by selflessness expressed by animals to keep other members safe and sound. Altruistic animals are ready to risk themselves for no personal gain. However, the professor argues that no animal is self-centered. There is a possibility that they try to keep themselves at a situation where they can escape easily. There have been extensive studies about Meerkats, the mammals which are found in burrows. The passage portrays the unselfish nature of the species. When they move in a group to hunt for food, a sentinel or guard places themselves at a place where they keep an eye on predators and alarm the other members in case of emergency. There are cases when the guard is not fed and have to walk away alone keeping its life at stake. This way, it plays an important role for survival of other members. However, the professor had contrast opinions. She keeps forward multiple reasons that question the altruism exhibited by the species. She mentions how the sentinels are closest ones to burrows, making their escape from predators easiest. In such a way, the others are left in danger. She also talks about how alarms and cries may act as bane for the animals. Collecting together at a place and forming a group may make it simpler for the predator to hunt. A point was also raised by her that sentinels fill their stomachs first before guarding others. In other way, they do not sacrifice their food or lives. Another example is that of humans who display altruism by multiple ways such as donating their organs to relatives, or even strangers. Yet, the professor says it’s also important to take count of unmaterialistic things such as increased self-worth, appreciation and acceptance in society.
The passage talks about the act of altruism, which is
described
by selflessness expressed by
animals
to
keep
other
members safe and sound. Altruistic
animals
are ready to
risk
themselves for no personal gain.
However
, the professor argues that no
animal
is self-centered. There is a possibility that they try to
keep
themselves at a situation where they can escape
easily
.

There have been extensive studies about
Meerkats
, the mammals which
are found
in burrows. The passage portrays the unselfish nature of the species. When they
move
in a group to hunt for food, a sentinel or guard places themselves at a place where they
keep
an eye on predators and alarm the
other
members in case of emergency. There are cases when the guard is not fed and
have to
walk away alone keeping its life at stake. This way, it plays an
important
role for survival of
other
members.
However
, the professor had contrast opinions. She
keeps
forward multiple reasons that question the altruism exhibited by the species. She mentions how the sentinels are
closest
ones to burrows, making their escape from predators easiest. In such a way, the others are
left
in
danger
. She
also
talks about how alarms and cries may act as bane for the
animals
. Collecting together at a place and forming a group may
make
it simpler for the predator to hunt. A point was
also
raised by her that sentinels fill their stomachs
first
before
guarding others. In
other
way, they do not sacrifice their food or
lives
.

Another example is that of humans who display altruism by multiple ways such as donating their organs to relatives, or even strangers.
Yet
, the professor says it’s
also
important
to take count of
unmaterialistic
things such as increased self-worth, appreciation and acceptance in society.
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IELTS essay Alruism - Selfnessless or selfishness?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
300 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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