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It was way back in 2019, I was not intended to change a job

It was way back in 2019, I was not intended to change a job brML3
It was way back in 2019, I was not intended to change a job actually because I enjoyed working at the LCP hotel at the time, but I had been called into military service by the government, so I had to break for a while. It was not too bad due to gaining the opportunity to encounter people from all walks of life which helped me enhance my communication skills and the most crucial lesson was capable of adapt to strict military discipline.
It was way back in 2019, I was not intended to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
a job actually
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I enjoyed working at the LCP hotel at the time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I had
been called
into military service by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I had to break for a while. It was not too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
due to gaining the opportunity to encounter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from all walks of life which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me enhance my communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and the most crucial lesson was capable of adapt to strict military discipline.

IELTS essay It was way back in 2019, I was not intended to change a job

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
83 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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